Love After Love...

Chapter 40: "Not the last chapter."

~1 week later~

Author's POV:
Jieun was doing so well these days. But she knew there was one last thing to do. One last thing before she felt 100% free of all that emotional weight she had been carrying since a lot more than three years. That emotional weight which doubled, trippled every time the guilt about Jimin overtook her. She needed to free herself from all of it.

She cleared her room to start off. It was weirdly therapeutic. She wondered why she hadn't done that earlier. Bopping along to her playlist of pop songs, she cleaned her home and arranged all her books methodically and smiled once she was done. She now moved on to her clothes and other items. She removed all of Namjoon's hoodies and everything she had that reminded her of him, reminiscing each and every memory associated with it. She packed the clothes in a bag so she could donate them. She removed the photo she had in her wallet, and also took the photo frame. She looked at the photo frame, one that she didn't need anymore at all. She felt proud of that.

"We haven't spoken much lately, have we? Not cried holding you since a while either... That's... good... Right? Is everyone correct? Do you really want me to be the happiest version of myself?" she said, looking at the photo frame. "Nah, that's a dumb question. Of course, you do. You've always wanted the best for me..." she said, giggling a little. "I'm holding myself back because I can't let you go... I was in so much pain, Namjoon. And now it's going away, slowly. But surely. And I really think its because I'm starting to let you go... Do you know, Dad and I fixed things? He was happy. I was too. Even mom was over the moon... Speaking of moms, I spoke to your mom a while ago. She said she would like me to be with a man that makes me happy... Jimin makes me very happy... You would've liked him. He's a wonderful man. He's all confident on the outside, but he's very sensitive. He expresses so well. Isn't afraid of showing exactly what he feels. Even his smirks have some sincerity to them... I like him, don't I?" she paused and smiled. Tears now freely flowing.

"After three excruciatingly heavy years, Kim Namjoon, I want to let you go... Set myself free..." she said. "For one last time..." she continued before taking a shaky breath.
And she sang. She sang 'La Vie en Rose'. She sang till her tears made her eyes hurt, and her throat tighten up. She now felt truly, truly free. She felt lighter, brighter and happier.

She drove to the place where she could donate the clothes. Each task making her heart feel like it was beating a lot more that it used to for the past three years. She then drove to the cemetary and placed the photo frame and taped the tiny wallet photo near his coffin. She smiled and said, "Won't come here as much as I used to. Don't sulk, I'll still come with flowers every year," smiling through the tears, "Rest easy, Namjoon. You were a beautiful part of my story, but I'm learning to accept you were not the final chapter. I adore you."

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A/N : This chapter is perhaps the smallest. But it's one of the most powerful and meaningful. It was really difficult to write this one, but I'm happy with it.
The symbolics of what Namjoon and Jieun were makes this chapter what it is.