HIGH LOW; djs ✓

05 - i just don't know

HIGH LOW
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chapter five

third person;

it was quarter to eleven at night, as angel sat at her desk trying to write in her journal about how the day went and her feelings towards it, just like she had done pretty much every night for the past year after it had been suggested to her.

yet her mind was stuck on a few things; daniel from chemistry, and the comments the group she'd been hanging out were making earlier at lunch — and wonder if she actually even meant anything to them.

she sat there, scribbling around the edge of the journal while thinking about how to describe her feelings. not only towards the boy, but towards her new friends, and towards the whole school in general.

as she finally thought about how start things off and started writing she got distracted by her phone ringing with a call from daniel. she hesitated for a few seconds before sliding her finger across the screen and answering it.

"hey.." she slightly mumbled.

"hey, sorry i should've messaged first- i don't know i just didn't think. sorry i- do you have time to talk?"

"yeah," she said with a soft laugh which was caused by the boy's rambling. "i was just.. writing.. but yeah i have time."

"how was school today?" he asked in a soft tone, trying to not make the conversation feel too awkward.

"um it was good.." she mumbled her slight lie as she got up out of her chair, walking over to her bed and taking a seat there. "how was yours?"

"mine was good yeah," he said, sounding happy to hear hers was as well, or so he thought. "i'm guessing things with tamia and them are going well."

"mh yeah," she sighed as she laid back on her bed. "alright is probably a better word than well.."

"would you like to talk about it?"

"i just don't know.. because i don't know what they actually think about me. and they kept making comments today about how they're not going to keep me around and i don't know.." she rambled.

"come hang out with my friends and i," he offered once again. "we don't mind at all."

"i just don't want things to happen," she said with a small sniffle.

"what do you mean? what things?"

"i just don't want them to say things and then those things to spread. and then have everyone hate me. and then just end up lonely again," she responded as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"i don't know why i'm telling you this," she added with a small laugh trying to make herself happier. "i'm just being stupid. i should stop.."

"no, angel, you're not being stupid. don't ever feel uncomfortable. you can openly talk to me it's fine, i won't tell anyone," he reassured her although she still didn't feel like it was right, especially just yet.

"i'm sorry. i've got to go, i've got a thing to do.." she mumbled, vaguely explaining since she didn't actually have something she desperately needed to do at that very moment.

"okay.. i hope you sleep well, and don't ever hesitate to call me or message me. i'm always down to talk," he said.

"okay, bye.."

"bye," he said as she pulled the phone away from her ear, hanging up the call and letting out a sigh.

she got up and off her bed, going back over to her desk. almost instantly picking up her pen and started writing in her journal.

filling up the page with a bunch what if's and her thoughts about how she was now unsure about everything, and questioning everything and everyone at her current school.

although she liked how daniel had checked up on her, she did find it a little strange. someone she barely knows, wanting her to tell him about everything and her opinions on people he has known way longer than she had.

and not knowing what his intentions were for having that information, was the reason why he so quickly shut off that conversation and lied so she could end the call.

she didn't want to make the same mistakes she had made before, where she had opened up too quickly about her past and history with other schools, to the wrong person.

which clearly didn't end up well for her the first time, since she was now at a different only a couple months after starting at the last one.

angel wanted to make things work here, and in order to make things work, she knows she'd have lie and hide her real feelings from people, even if sometimes it is hard for her to do so..

AUTHORS NOTE

updated all four books today. i'm feeling productive