𝘛𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘰

taught you how to love

Words couldn't describe the way you were feeling. It felt like all that you gained diminished in seconds. When it reality it did.

The one person you clung to for everything was essentially- gone.

The apologies you wanted to say to Kageyama were replaying in your head. All of things you wanted to say but couldn't find the courage and especially the right ones-

When you thought of cheating you looked at it from the perspective of the other person and how they just feel. Then you examine yourself-

One question that constantly played in your head was this one-

Are you actually sorry, or sorry you got caught?

The love you had for him was never a lie. Never would be. They were a fool. They knew that. They never intended for any of it to happen but then it did.

As all of these thoughts surrounded your head you were fixated on the open water bottle that was on your room floor. It was the only thing that was keeping you sane and not texting Kageyama the longest apology of your life.

You wanted to text him but he was probably so angry- you would be too.

Then he came in your mind.

Oikawa Tooru.

The worse thing of it all- Oikawa probably had no care in the world for any of it. He was probably with his friend giggling like little girls because of the encounter when your relationship had just been imploded.

At the end of the day it wasn't even his fault. It was yours. And you knew it too.

***

Monday came, and everything felt more displaced than ever. The one you wanted the most to text you good morning- didn't. It was an everyday occurrence and the one time it didn't-

It broke you.

Your mother asked what was wrong because she thought it was pathetic to be this emotional over the lie you had told her. She liked Kageyama- she would be even more upset if you told her that it was your fault that it's over.

Although Shoyo was being supportive- he was on Kageyama's side. You would be too if the tables were turned. Through it all- he still met you at the yakisoba palace.

He stood at his bike with a breakfast bun and watched as you made your way towards him. "Have you talked to him?" You asked, side eyeing the boy. He nodded.

As much as you wanted to ask more about how he was- and if he was okay? And if he was coming to school- this wasn't the time for that. So silence filled the air.

Finally Hinata was tired of the silence. "Why." He muttered. It was something he asked for Kageyama and for himself. He felt bad for the entire situation.

It's just he didn't know what really happened from the horrible explaining from Kageyama's side. He couldn't blame him. He was distressed and hurt.

"I didn't kiss him." You whispered. Clenching your fists tightly. "We we're close and I was afraid. I never wanted any of it."

Hinata nodded again. "But you know how Kageyama feels about him."

"I know that. I really do- but if I wanna be friends with someone I shouldn't be restricted. In the end it's my fault that I hung out with him and hung out with him- knowing how Kageyama felt."

"You hung out with him?" Hinata asked. He was a bit surprised knowing how you use to hate him with a passion.

"A while ago he sorta saved me from these weirdos at the convenient store." She mumbled.