His doe eyes are like two chocolate confectionaries, round and rich in color. His puffy cheeks are soft like bread and smooth like butter. His pink lips part as he pants and mutters curses between kissing you. He's innocent, but his touch is unholy.
"Why did you even agree to such a thing?"
"I couldn't let my brother die," Jungkook replies.
You grab his face and smash your mouth onto his, tasting his sweet vanilla lip balm and relishing in the flavor. Your clothed pelvis rubs against his sweatpants, building the heat between your groins. Tossed pillows and wrinkled sheets create a messy nest for you to mingle.
"What did you have to do?" you ask, winded from the intermittent make-out sessions.
"Whatever they wished. I mostly stayed with Aera since the contract was her idea. I washed her feet, cooked her meals, made bouquets from their garden, sang to her..." he rambles.
"It doesn't sound so bad," you reflect, and after some time of staring into each other's sparkling eyes, you ask, "Did you have sex with her?"
"Yeah..." he admits. "I had to."
You kiss him carefully, enduring tiny bursts of searing pain in your chest, not only for yourself, but for him as well. "It's okay, Kookie, I understand," you whisper, remembering the terms of the contract. "Did you like any of it? Picking flowers and singing songs?"
He chuckles and taps your little nose. "It felt like prison at first. I hate to say it, but eventually I got used to it and started to feel like a house cat. I got to laze around and daydream most of the time. I wondered what you would be doing." He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer, pressing your body against his rock-hard abdomen. "I missed you everyday. I really mean it."
"I'm sure I missed you more," you concede.
His hands canvas your backside and massage your tingling flesh before trailing to your tender breasts and delivering sensual squeezes. It feels like fireworks exploding over your skin. "What did you do while I was away?" he asks.
"I, um, worked a lot," you sputter. "I've been busting my ass for a promotion, and I kind of have it on lock. But, uh, my boss has to resign in order for me to take his position."
"So, you'll be the boss? That's awesome!" he enthuses, littering kisses along your nose and cheeks, his bright eyes twinkling with admiration. You almost feel guilty about him not knowing the true relation between you and your boss. "Any idea when he'll be resigning?"
"I—I don't want him to leave," you choke, nervous about his reaction.
A shadow of confusion crosses his pretty face, giving him furrowed brows and concentrated eyes. He tries to read you but your expression is completely blank. "Why?" he ponders.
Since his whole truth is out in the open, it would be wicked to withhold yours. There's no easy way to say it. "I'm in love with him," you quickly and quietly reveal.
His eyes lose their signature luster and become muddied with puddles of tears. Despite losing all control of his facial muscles, his grip tightens around your waist. "Does he love you, too?"
You bite your lip and shake your head. "I don't know." You're taking a chance—a leap of faith. You're trusting your gut and moving forward instead of holding on to the past.
"Would you rather be with him?" Jungkook sadly queries.
You cup his face and forbid yourself to cry. It isn't a matter of who you would rather be with, but who will cause you the least heartache. "I think it would be too difficult for us to make up for the lost time. When I look at you, I don't think I could ever forget what happened."
"I can't imagine what you went through," he empathizes. "I deserve whatever you decide. You're in control of the choices now."
It isn't the resistant response you were expecting. Rather than electing to fight or campaign for your love, he grants you the peace of free will. He stares into your bewildered eyes and smiles boyishly, brushing your hair from your face and softly stroking your temple.
"What if Junghyun gambles his life again?" you worry.
"I guess I'll be without a brother," Jungkook says, forming a small smirk.
You push his shoulder and let out a relieving laugh. "You would never."
"Yeah," he admits. "I would never. So, I've got to get him some real help. If he pulls this shit again, I won't make it out of another contract like that. I didn't think I'd survive some nights."
You sit in silence with his weighty words. You didn't think you'd survive some nights, either. So, you felt the same after all.
The next few hours are spent tumbling between the sheets and trading indescribable emotions in the form of tempestuous kisses. His hands nip at your voluptuous curves as you claw his back and pull his hair, tearing him apart like a birthday present from the top of your wishlist. Despite starving for one another for months, you settle to savor the tastes instead of outright devouring each other's bodies. If you were to delve further than the surface, you would never dig yourself out.
In the moments between, he regales you with tales of his cloddish adventures at the Seo's estate. The burden of his bondage lightens with every shared laugh. "I got my foot stuck in a thorn bush and waited for hours until the gardener came to cut me out. It was like being chained to the earth, but not in a poetic way at all."
You rub noses and giggle at his amusing memoirs and comical mishaps. Tangling your legs together and entwining your lips is all too easy when it feels like the concept of time has faded away. He's the same Jungkook he's always been. You're the same girl who fell for his corny jokes and dorky dates. The same people who promised to love one another forever before knowing the destiny that awaited you.
Eventually, your voices quiet and your limbs fall weak around each other as your energy depletes. Falling asleep in Jungkook's arms is a huge relief beside a harrowing regret. It's relieving to be engulfed in his familiar arms and fortifying embrace. It's regrettable losing the invaluable moment to a pathetically human process that occurs with every moon. Why can't you resist rest for just one night?
It's when you forfeit the fight with your heavy eyelids that you revisit dark times. Within you, the reality will never retire. No matter how heartfelt the apology or genuine the intention, nightmares will never escape you. The truth is, it happened and you cannot erase it. You're forever marked with a scathing scar on your heart.
But it's a scar you've come to regard with gratitude, as it's made you the unwavering woman you are today.
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YOU ARE READING
Control | PJM
Fanfiction"We shouldn't do this here," he realizes minutes after already committing the sin. "So, take me to your office," you say, completely willing and hungrier than before. - A woman lacking control of her life, and a man with too much of it. When their w...
