Dream On [HS.AU]

Chapter Thirty Nine

Halle Henry

It's been a weird week. It's also Grammy day, which is exciting.

I've not seen or heard from Harry in three days. He's been recording from pretty much 8AM until really late at night. If he was not recording, he was getting fitted for an outfit or doing other public appearances that he's always asked to do. I think he wants to get recording finished so he can get back on tour, which is fair.

I have also appreciated the alone time. Still, there's been good days and bad. A few days ago I couldn't sleep, went for a glass of water and ended up having a panic attack on my kitchen floor for half an hour all because I saw the mug my dad usually uses when he'd come to visit.

There was another day I couldn't get out of bed, I physically couldn't. I felt trapped there, yet my mind was blank. It was strange and it was terrifying. Mick knocked on my door and I couldn't even answer it.  He understood though and that helped me feel better because I felt less guilty.

There have been good days too though, and it's those days I'm trying to focus on. I never slept a lot last night. I cried a little and wished my dad was here, but today's a new day and I'm just taking it as it is.

There's a little corner shop a few streets ago, so I threw in some trainers, a pair of sunglasses and I headed down there, just to get some fresh air and a bottle of water. Something about sunglasses always make me feel invisible, which I suppose is necessary when you live in LA and all the paparazzi know where your home is.

Thankfully nobody was standing outside, so I took the side street down to the little shop in peace. Somebody recognised me, but I gave them a wave and that was it, so my anxiety wasn't too bad. I did enjoy the walk to be honest, it was nice to get out.

When I stepped into the little shop I lifted my sunglasses and the lady smiled at me, she's an older lady, incredibly sweet. I grabbed a bottle of water, the copy of Roses and Thorns without even looking at the cover, and asked for a pack of Marlboro cigarettes.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." The older shopkeeper said, smiling at me. "I lost my father at your age too."

"Oh," I sigh, opening my purse to pay. "Thank you...does it erm... does it ever get better?"

The shop lady placed everything into a carrier bag and she looked at me with a sympathetic smile. "No, but you learn how to cope. You'll get through it dear, if that's what you're asking...14.84 please."

I nodded, handing her a twenty and telling her to keep the change or throw it into the charity box. She's a really nice lady, I've been in before and she's always friendly. It's not a very busy shop, but I like it.

On my way out, I notice a chair and table out the front, it's usually where she sits in hot days, but today, I'm wondering if I could sit there before heading back to dwell at my apartment. I have no other plans today, besides watching the Grammys and cheering Harry on from the comfort of my sofa, praying we'll get to actually talk to each other soon.

"Do you mind if I sit out here?" I ask the lady, and she gave me a thumbs up, so I took that as a yes, and sat there with my bottle of water fresh pack of cigarettes, taking this stupid magazine out of the bag. When I did, I nearly had a heart attack.

The title is 'Harry Styles and Mystery Woman' and the picture on the front cover is of Harry pulling along a beautiful blonde haired woman by the wrist, right into the front of our apartment complex underneath the clock displaying the time as 4AM.

My heart genuinely stopped and my mind started racing through every possible scenario. Then I looked again and even flicked to the page where the article is written, and it says they left a night club together.