ILL HEARTS

24

Jungkook

I was going to lose this fucking game. I was more stressed than before Olympics. Only a miracle could save me in this situation as no amount of practice prior to the match did anything. My emotional support team couldn't do anything when I was freaking out in the locker room, either. They tried, but nothing that could sooth me was there. Maybe reading all those articles talking about Jeon Jungkook versus The King was not a good idea.

I was full of energy drinks and sugar, which probably wasn't a good idea considering I was a walking anxiety attack since I woke up. I knew I was going for the loss, but I couldn't make peace with it. It was that one game I couldn't lose, whether I was heartbroken and shattered, or not. Now I fully cared, and it was going to make my head explode.

"Remember, stay calm, Jeon," my coach said, massaging my shoulders through the red, silk robe, as I sat on the bench.

"You know how to do it," Jimin added, his hands on my knees. As always they came to cheer for me. Only Yoongi wasn't there, but he texted me, promising he would come for the game. "You've done that before. Countless times. Fuck him up."

"You've got strength and skills, just focus, okay?" Hoseok said, standing on the right from Jimin.

"That's what I am worried about." I sighed, before a groan ripped my throat. "He's gonna knock me out in the first round," I cried out, hiding my head in my hands. "What the fuck am I doing here?"

"You are winning, getting the belt, and you're the best fighter out there. That's what you're doing here," my coach said, and for once I couldn't care less about his pep talk.

I let out a sigh, long and heavy one. I had to start lying to myself or else I would have panicked. "Fine. I am the best fighter. I win. I get the belt. And we're going to get wasted. Sounds like a plan."

"That's right!" Namjoon clapped his hands. "Imagine the belt in your room. I can already see it."

They talked me up for the next ten minutes, then left me alone for a few. I had to get some time to myself before a match. I just hoped this time I wasn't going to start crying. I tried giving myself motivational talks in the mirror, being somewhat kind, but cursing at myself anyways.

I had to go out, put on an act for the cameras, act like I knew I was going to destroy it. And then do it. Do what I always do.

"Ready? Time to go," my coach said, cracking the door open to let the muffled cheers of people in.

I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth, and let out one more heavy breath. "Ready. Let's go."

The crowd roared when I stepped out of the long corridor. Cameras flashing, people screaming next to my ear. I looked straight ahead, not letting anything distract me. With each step, I was getting more cautious, focused. I was used to the chaos around me, it was grounding me in knowing I had to win. It took away distractions. I promised myself I would go back to panicking after I'd win. Success was the only option.

I was always the one who believed in myself the most. I couldn't lose it before the most important match of my life so far.

Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon would be somewhere close to the ring to scratch their throats for me, as always. Yoongi, too. My coach would be there with me, as always. I would win, as always.

If there was loud about someone in the boxing industry, it was Jeon Jungkook and The King. Real name, Nate Wilson. People craved this match like water on a dessert. I knew how many people watched me live, how many people watched me in front of their TVs, or even streamed live. I knew my parents weren't on the list. I hoped she was. I hoped that, even if she wouldn't tell me, she would be at least a little bit proud.