ILL HEARTS

1

Jungkook ~ March 5th, 2019

Two seats away from me to the left, the dumbest student in our group begged Eunbi to explain him the material from the last three lectures, twenty minutes before the mock exam. She agreed, smiling at him like she was a kindergarten employee consoling a spoiled brat, and I gave a well-practice, signature eye roll. She was either stupid, or an amazing actress because no one could be that good. 'I'm a flawless angel and I will save every living creature without giving a single sigh' kind of good. The good that makes children come to you, butterflies sit on your fingers, and strangers smile at you. Ew.

"Do you want a prize for this?" I remarked to make sure she knew I didn't like her and the things she did. Her head rolled like she was playing possessed in a horror movie before she answered me with a glare. As for someone who portrayed herself as made of sugar and sunshine, she always looked at me like she was a devil.

I sunk lower under the desk, like I always did to pretend I wasn't surrounded with complete idiots left and right. I went through my own notes, but hearing Eunbi explain the hardest topic to this guy, whose brain must have shrunk as he grew up, made me shake, like I was going to explode.

Her kindness and selflessness, no matter how admired by other people, always seemed so fake to me that with time everything about her started pissing me off. And if life was a person it would be that one kid who's only entertainment was annoying you, as it always found a way to put me and Eunbi together. Group projects, pairs for presentations, the only empty seats next to each other, bumping into each other at any given fucking moment. If only I didn't despise her, I'd believe she was my soulmate.

"Can you two be quiet?" I asked, glaring at her as I didn't care about the guy.

"Can you mind your business?" she remarked. I was the only one she wasn't kind to, and maybe for the better. I might have thrown up if she treated me with the same exaggerated kindness. "Just change a seat."

"Oh, trust me. If there was an available seat, I would not be sitting next to you," I said, scoffing. I'd already chosen a seat out of the two free that was further away from her. I'd have to seat on someone's lap to get away, and I fucking hated all of these people.

I doodled my way through the rest of the break, and, luckily, for the whole two hours of a mock exam I was basking in the silence and buzz of led lamps on the ceiling. Philosophy exam was a piece of cake, and also a subject I enjoyed, so I could take my mind off of things around me I wanted to erase from existence.

Strange for a guy who only joined college because of his parents' ultimatum, to enjoy answering philosophy questions. They said 'you can be a boxer if you graduate college, whatever major', and, since the choice was utterly mine, I took up the only thing, besides punching a bag at the gym, that I found enjoyable. Liberal arts. I liked comics, and I liked drawing comics, and it was my only reasoning. I wasn't going to need the degree for my CV anyways.

"Put your pens away, papers down. Wait until I pick up all the tests, then you can leave," the lecturer said when the time was over. I was long done with all the questions, wondering what good food I could eat before my afternoon practice.

As more and more students flooded the halls, and I wanted to peacefully get to the café on the ground floor, I went on my phone. Not looking at people was my go-to strategy to not get so annoyed by them. I didn't have to watch where I was going, my boxing career made everyone avoid me in the first place. Not like I would punch someone because they bumped into me, but okay. I didn't have friends to text so I checked the status of my recent workout clothes order, not to look like a complete fool who stares at his screen for no reason.

The line wasn't long in the café, four people, so I clicked on a few random e-mails, and hid my phone as I stood behind the last person. And only one person in this college had sea life themed bobby pins. I let out a sigh that didn't make me feel lighter at all. "Of course."