Within the walls

38 (The other side)

Armin's pov

When we returned back to Shiganshina we were all a bit solem. Despite finally having the information from Dr Jeager's cellar and reclaiming wall Maria we had lost too many people to be excited.

My mind kept wandering back to Nyx, she had essentially been kidnapped by her own people. I wondered if she wanted to go back there or if she had been afraid when they took her. Would they hurt her for cooperating? Send her back to a life of slavery? Did she even have a home to go back to or was she going to be all alone?

On top of that I had become a titan shifter, I would have liked to talk to her about it. I would have liked to learn from her. She had helped Eren out a lot and I'm sure she could have helped me too. I didn't just need help with shifting though, I wanted to talk about how I felt about it and find out how she felt about it too. I wanted to know how this worked not just how to do it.

"Are you okay Armin?" Connie asked.

"I'm fine... just thinking about Nyx." I replied.

Connie looked down at his feet.

"Yeah, we were just getting to know the real Nyx and now she's gone. We'll probably never see her again. It's really tearing Jean up, he's acting like she's dead." Connie said.

"She could be, we don't know what they'll do to her now." I said.

"She looked so scared when they took her, I think she believes they might kill her too." Connie said.

"Armin, can I talk to you?" Hanji asked as she approached us.

I nodded before waving at Connie and following Hanji away out of the dining room. She began leading me down a corridor towards the rooms as she began to speak.

"We're getting new recruits soon so we need to clear out all of the bedrooms. Jean wanted to clear Nyx's room but we don't think that's a good idea." Hanji explained. "We thought you would be best to take that job instead."

"Does that mean we're treating Nyx as one of our dead?" I asked.

"Unfortunately we don't have a choice. We don't have the technology or military force to save her." Hanji said. "That's why we had to save Eren before they got beyond the walls because once we leave we can't follow."

"So there's nothing we can do?" I asked.

"No, there isn't. Jean's already asked all of these questions and tried coming up with plans. I want to help her too but there isn't anything I can do for her." Hanji said, she seemed just as upset as I was.

Time skip

Clearing out Nyx's room felt like an invasion of privacy. After finding out the truth about Nyx she had been more open about things, leaving stuff relating to Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie and her home out as decorations in her room.

I had packed away books in a weird language that I couldn't read, the only thing that gave me a hint on their contents was the drawings and light burned images amongst the text. There was also a light burned image of Nyx, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie and another guy dressed in some kind of military uniform inside a wooden frame that I had packed in with books.

There were also flowers that had been pressed onto papers to keep them looking beautiful with notes under them in loopy handwriting reading (Pink camellia)'To long for what I can no longer have but what I desperately need' and (heliotrope)'The first lesson I received on something meaningful.'

There were a few things dotted about that seemed to come from within the walls. Things like necklaces, clothes, books and an old worn out chess board and pieces, all things that were widely available in places like Trost and Calaneth, places we often visited and worked.

Then there was this silver ring with a blade in it that seemed to be the same as the one Annie had wore. It was sat ontop of letters addressed to Nyx from Annie. Obviously she was supposed to use it against us at some point but I don't think it ever actually left the room.

Looking at all the things I found helped build a greater understanding of the type of person Nyx was. She had a wide variety of things from both inside and outside the walls. The things from her home showed that she was sentimental and liked to keep mementos. It proved she took good care of her things based on how old they'd have to have been and the condition they were in and it showed that things from home brought her some kind of comfort. The things that were from within the walls proved that she was an intelligent person that liked to learn about new places and cultures. They showed how assimilated she had become with the people within the walls as well.

The most interesting thing I came across though was the book Nyx had been writing before she had been kidnapped. She had promised I could read it once it was finished so I didn't feel too bad about reading it. I sat down on Nyx's bed which was still unmade from the last time she had slept here.

I spent hours sat in Nyx's book reading her story. She was a great writer, everything she wrote had an almost realistic feel to it like it could have actually happened. It turned out to be the tail of a noble family of royal advisors who served the king with great loyalty. In the end when the country lost its war and the people came to kill the king for all of his wrong doings he sold out his advisors to the people by pinning all of his actions on them. The people allowed the king to escape only after he ensured the capture of his advisors. Once his advisors were caught they were given a deal, reaveal the secrets of the king and his people and be allowed to live among the common folk or live a life of torture and slavery. The advisors despite being betrayed remained loyal to the king and would not reveal anything of value and so the family were put in chains and enslaved. Over the next 100 years the advisors and their descendants were raped, beaten and tortured but still remained silent, hoping that the king and his descendants would one day come to save them from the hell he put them in.

It felt too real to not have some kind of factual basis, some of this had to have happened at one point. I wouldn't know unless I got to see Nyx again so for now my questions would have to go unanswered. Deciding I wanted to read the book again later I kept it out of the boxes that the rest of her stuff were filling, surely Jean would want to read the book too.