Chapter Twenty-Two: Under The Tree

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|Disclaimer: Prepare for cringiness and a very long chapter. Will I change it. Lol nope.|

 Air catches in my throat, causing this pain that stings not only my eyes but my heart. I sit bolt upright in my bed, starting to have trouble breathing. My face is hot and my throat is dry while my hair is a mess. Lily is still asleep and when I look at my clock. It is only 5:15 in the morning.

My breath becomes shorter and shorter as the air becomes thick and gluggy in my throat. I can hear myself start to pant as I glance all around my room. I can't escape. Then my eyes land on my one family photo I keep on my bedside table. Madge's face stares back at me and I start to cry, covering my mouth.

She died so young and it's all my fault. Why her?

My tears pour down my cheeks quickly and soon my shirt is drenched while I cradle the picture in my arms. She'll never grow up. Why I can? How is that fair? How? A wail escapes my lips and I must get out of this room.

I try to stand but my legs buckle and I collapse on the floor causing a thud. I pound the ground with my fist so hard, breathing in deeply as the tears continue to stream down my face.

This isn't fair. Why Margo? It should have been me!

I wail again, calling my sister's name between tears.

"Maddie!" shrieks Lily.

She comes to my side and tries to hug me. I'm too much of a mess and can't process anything that is going on around me. Lily's voice drowns in my own wails. She strokes my back as she tries to ask me questions but I don't have the will to answer them. My body starts to quiver as I instinctively let out a long cry. I have to get out of here.

I push poor Lily off my back, ditching the photo in my arms, before standing up with all the strength I have left. Without realizing I slide on shoes and make a run for it, out the door and through the hallway. No one else is awake to stop me as I continue to uncontrollably cry, wailing Margo's name like a lost dog.

I burst out the front door and run down the steep hill to the stables. The wind passes through my loose hair and stings my cold and wet cheeks as I run. The grief of my sister eats away at me and I need it to stop. It feels like it will never end though.

I arrive quickly at the stables, nearly tripping over my own feet to slow down. Another wave of snotty tears and uncontrollable wails pass through me as I wake nearly every horse in the empty stable.

"Virgo!" I sob, choking on my own saliva.

He sleeps at night in one of the spare, older stalls now that Aviation has taken up residency in his.

I waste no time getting to my horse's stall and open up the door to get inside. Virgo wakes with a jolt from his lumber as I wrap my arms around his neck and cry into him. 

Poor Virgo has to stand still as I apply nearly all my weight on him, but it's like he knows he is the only thing that could make me feel better on this dark day.
"Why Margo? S-she didn't deserve...oh why her?" I weep. "I hate it! I should have died, not her! Why? Make her come back."

My voice is starting to crack and my eyes start to hurt as endless water continues to stream from them. I cry to Virgo, stroking his soft neck. The pain in my heart is so strong I want to pass out to stop it. I want Madge to come back. I need her to come back.

"Madison?" asks a voice.

My sobbing continues while I turn to see who called for me. A worried and slightly blurry Alex stands at the door of the stall. He steps inside, concern growing on his face like moss while he observes my state.

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