tell Dean that I'm gone || Destiel/DeanCas

people are strange

It was Thursday, another day Castiel hated because he had to socialise with people who didn't care about him and people that pretended they're nice. The only thing Castiel was looking forward was his music lesson after school with Mrs. Jody, she was a great teacher. She's always been nice to Castiel and she's always been there for him to listen to whatever story he was about to tell about his life at home. Yes, you heard that right. Jody Mills was the only person who knew about Castiel's problems out of his family. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone and she never did. Castiel trusted her with his life. He truly did.

The whole time Castiel was in school he tried to avoid his friends. He felt bad for doing so but if they would notice that he's a little bit odd these days they would get suspicious and worried. And the last thing Castiel wanted is to maks his friends worried about him. He would feel bad.

He didn't see Meg, Kevin nor Charlie that day, but there was a certain boy with forest green eyes and beautiful freckled face that would not leave him alone. He followed him everywhere, trying to get Cas' attention but Cas would just ignore him. Dean tried to stop him and even if he did Castiel would just look at the ground and not answer. One time Castiel had enough and pushed Dean off of him telling him to 'leave him alone!' and as he did he instantly regretted it. The hurt in Dean's eyes was enough for him. He gripped Dean's hand and dragged him to the toilets.

"Cas what are you doing ?" Dean asked as Castiel shoved him into one of the stalls and closed the door behind him.

"Shut up." he replied and turned around, that's when he realised how close they were. Castiel pushed himself against the wall and breathed heavily.

"Cas..."

"Listen Dean, I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry for being a shitty friend latley. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you and ignoring you. You asked if I was ok and no Dean, I'm pretty far from ok. I was hurt and drained and I didn't want to bring the mood down. I didn't want to burden you with my crappy life, so i avoided you. I thought that it would go away but after what happened I don't think I'll recover. I can't sleep after this incident that happened because of me, because I was born. I will never forgive myself. I took something so special from my siblings just to live an amazing life for a few years just for it to be ruined in one spur of the moment. If only I didn't exist it would all be better..." Castiel broke down. He slipped on the floor hugging his legs and he begun to sob. This was the first time Castiel let his guard down in front of someone.

Dean rushed towards him, making just one or two steps since the stall was so small. He smoothed Castiel's ruffled raven hair.

"Don't worry Cas, it will all be alright. Just let me help you. It's going to be ok, I'm here. I won't leave you in this mess on your own." Dean assured as he rubbed small circles on Cas' hand. Cas looked up at Dean with teary and red eyes.

"C-can I hug you?" his breath hitched and his voice was shaking. Dean just started at Cas before pulling him into a big hug. He squeezed Castiel so tightly that he almost couldn't breathe. Castiel was slightly taken aback but he was quick enough to return the gesture. He hugged Dean back and burried his face into Dean's chest. Dean whispered some more reassuring words to Cas' ear and promised him to help him with anything he needed.

The bell rang but none of the boys moved. They stayed at the toilet stall hugging each other until Cas calmed down. They pulled apart, Castiel blushing like crazy because after he calmed down he realised that he was hugging Dean. He didn't know how to feel about it they were, after all, in the toilet stall. Castiel was embarrassed as all the memories went flying back to him. His whole confession that he's not ok and all that. How is he going to get out of it now ? He just literally told Dean about how he's the fault to everything and that he should just die.

Dean was quiet, he waited for Cas to say something but all Castiel did was ran out of the bathroom. He sprinted far far away and as fast as possible. He disappeared, again.

Castiel ran through the halls until he reached the music room or as some students use to call it, the 'nerd'room. He was one hour early, so as he entered the room he decided that he will sit on a chair and wait for his teacher. After few minutes he got bored. He knew that he wasn't allowed to do this but he picked up a guitar from it's case despite it being not allowed. He brought the guitar to his lap and stared at it for quite some time. He was thinking about what he should play. His own songs or somebody else's. Yes, Castiel did make music.

When he felt lonely guitar was his only company. He used to just strum it's strings because he didn't know how to play it back then. But as the time went on he learned some songs and wrote his own one's too. He never really played them in front of anyone because they were always too personal.

~~~~

No-one actually knew about his passion for music except Mrs. Jody who helped him get better at it.

He picked up the guitar and started to play a melody. He tried to remember how to play one of his song. It was called 'People are strange'. He wrote this when he was a subject of being played by a girl. Her name was Lilith.  She told Castiel she loved him and that they'll always be together. But she never really meant it, she just played with him. Turns out it was a bet she made with her friends and a boy she liked. And if she would convince Castiel that they're in a relationship she would win the bet and her reward would be the boy she actually liked taking her on a date.

Of course Castiel didn't know about it that time so he actually thought she was in love with him. He invited her to a school dance as his date and she just laughed at him. Castiel was confused, he through she loved him, he thought that they were dating. That day she revealed that it was all a bet and that she lied. Her friends were laughing, some people were whispering and giving her looks filled with disgust and some guys were making the noise 'ooooooh' after Cas got rejected.

Afterwards, Castiel locked his feelings away deep down and decided that he will never show his emotions to anyone ever again. He was hurt, pretty badly. But after some time he realised that he actually wasn't in love with her, he just had a crush on her and it slightly eased the pain away.

That's when he thought about how strange it was. How strange his and everyone's reaction was and how strange people are. And that's how he came up with the name for that song. He wrote about his experience and his thoughts about it and that's how he came up with the lyrics. He just poured his heart out but not because he was heartbroken or anything but because he was confused about people.

This song also described how Castiel stopped understanding humans and he felt like he became this emotionless being just floating in the space.

~~~

He remembered the chords and he started to strum the strings with a slight rythm. He started humming and then he began to sing.

"People are strange when you're a stranger,
They're acting different when they're alone,
Women seem wicked when you're not a ranger,
They will reject you unless you're their clone.

When you are strange
They will laugh at your face,
When you are strange
No-one remembers your name-" he was about so sing the second verse but he heard the door behind him open. He quickly turned around.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jod-"

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Heyyy! Finally a new chapter.

I love writing this story so much but I have so little time since school started again and it's killing meee >;((

I want to post more often but it probably won't be possible, I'll try tho.

Tell me what you guys think so far in the comments. I'd also appreciate if you would vote! It would mean a loot tons to me ✨

Ok! Thank you so much for reading another chapter I love you 💚💙
Byeee~~

- Sam