Strings That Binds Us

↳ 03

Emptiness.

It's midnight. It's freezing because I left my window ajar. I once discern this ambiance, soothing. But now, I couldn't even sleep even if my eyes are close firmly.

I feel so empty but my mind isn't. I tried to vent out my thoughts earlier to Braxton, but he began to discuss something else, dismissing my cry for help. Although I was sidetracked because I was speculating that maybe my prayers are being apprehended.

I'm finally having something to make me steady, to keep the hope I had in me.

But I was mistaken because the only person I'm holding onto turns his back on me too.

Who else would I like?

Of course, who would like me? Someone like me?

I can never be part of the selections because who would prefer a wounded girl like me?

I close my eyes and started to pray because someone told me to surrender all my worries to Him. Because perhaps all of this is just inside my head, maybe I'm just thinking too much.

In my prayer, I asked when will this stop? Does this even end? Because I'm really becoming weary of anticipating for everything to be okay.

I'm tired of feeling okay then all at once, I'm not.

It's disheartening to make my mind occupied every single day. Trying to obliterate the thoughts of forsaking this life because I always consider the things, the people, that I'll leave behind for choosing to disappear.

But when am I able to leave? How long will I becapable of staying still? For another day, another week, another month, anotheryear of crying behind closed doors? Can I ever stay still?