Black Butterflies & Blurred Lines

Chapter 15

Marinette

She shoved her homework aside, laying down on the floor in the middle of her bedroom. She was exhausted, and so, so pissed. Chat seemed upset, which sucked. He wasn't playful or anything anymore, all of his texts just felt cold. Her plan wasn't completely foolproof. Her body had immediately responded to Adrien's comment earlier, and he had seen it. So if he kept on, and figured it out, it would put her plan on hold.  Hawkmoth had attacked the school. It meant she had to be on guard more than usual. No negative feelings, period. She stared at the ceiling, annoyed at how heavy she felt. Things had been going okay, for a little bit. And now they were ten times worse than before. She missed Chat. She wanted him to be playful, and flirty again. She grabbed her phone, staring at his contact. She could apologize, for whatever she had done wrong. But it wouldn't matter. Their rules couldn't change. And she couldn't love him. Not because he wasn't lovable, but because they would eventually find out each other's identities. No one can keep a secret forever.

"Kitty?"
"Yes, Mari?"

Again with not using her nickname. Was he really mad at her, for not wanting to fall in love? Why was he so worried anyway?

"Can you come over?"
"You horny?"

She cringed, and tossed her phone away. Why would he ask that? Couldn't she want to see him, without wanting to have sex? Maybe that's why he was acting differently. Maybe he was pissed about not having sex? No, he was the one that vetoed it last night. Maybe he heard about the things she and Adrien had said? She groaned, covering her face. Wasn't this stuff supposed to be easy? In the movies and books it was. Sure, most of them did end up in love, but that wasn't real life.

"Marinette? You okay?"

She looked over, her mother was poking her head through the trap door.

"Not really."

She felt uncomfortable, not lying. She was used to saying she was fine. Why couldn't she say that now?

"What's going on honey?"

Marinette shook her head, as her mother climbed up and laid down on the floor next to her.

"How do you protect yourself from falling in love with someone?"
"Is this about Adrien?"

Marinette closed her eyes, groaning. Not everything was about him.

"No. Maman. It's not about him. I... I'm trying to move on. I started... seeing someone."
"You're dating someone? Who?"
"I thought that he understood, when we started, that I wasn't looking for love. I'm tired of it. But when I mentioned it to him, he got upset."

Her mother sighed, and rolled over to look at Marinette.

"Honey, I know you're hurting. But you can't govern love like that. You can't choose whether or not to love someone."
"Yes I can."

She insisted, and her mother shook her head in response.

"Are you starting to fall in love with the boy?"

Marinette sighed, her gaze returning to the ceiling.

"I don't know Maman. It feels different."

She cared alot about Chat. The way their relationship had changed, she was beginning to feel …something more. But it wasn't supposed to be like that. She loved Adrien instantly. The moment he handed her that umbrella she knew.

"It's going to feel different. Love changes with each person. You'll meet someone, and they'll become your entire world. Every breath you take feels like it's for them. Every word they say, goes straight to heart, for better or for worse."