Jannah. [SEQUEL TO DAWUD]

Chapter 52: Jealous, but Eternally Happy

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

If the time of prayer has been called and you haven't prayed before reading this, please do so.

Warsan's P.O.V

A few hours had passed and Muna exited into the stairwell. Basketball practice was now over. Jannah and I sat down on the floor with our backs pressed against the wall, shoulders slumped forward. The both of us were lost in thought. My mind was racing with thoughts of my own, but I wondered what exactly it was that had been ruminating in her mind. So I turned and asked her.

Her brown eyes watched me hesitantly as she struggled to speak. 'D-do... do you feel a hesitance to pick Laith? After what you saw today... does it change things?' I thought for a moment, biting my lip.

The thought crossed my mind. I had to admit that. As Uthman stood there in the lobby, bunching up his fists, eyes filled with emotion, the strings of my heart pulled at the sight. But his apprehension in approaching me, even when knowing that I liked him back, was enough to make me step back and think rationally about this situation. The only time he was proactive in approaching me was when he saw someone else do it. Was that the man I wanted to stand by my side and be the father of my kids? Laith handled the conflict extremely well, which made me so proud. But Uthman? He was so frustrated standing there in the lobby, incapable of taking accountability, putting blame on Laith and even Dawud! All because of his own inability to go for what he wanted. Or at least what he thought he wanted. Me.

To be completely honest I don't even think he really wanted to marry me. I think he was warming up to the idea of me. And maybe he just needed some time... maybe he wasn't falling for me at a parallel rate. And that's okay. But when I needed him to show me that I was worth an attempt... just an attempt of initiative... he stayed back silently. And now I was moving on with my life. And he hated to see it. I hoped that Allah gave him everything he wanted and more. And I was okay with not being a part of that.

In a short summary, I attempted to explain my thoughts to Jannah. Her eyes grew wet with tears as she pulled me in for a hug. I laughed and wiggled out of her tight embrace. I told her she was acting like something terrible happened. She wiped her nose and sniffled.

'I'm just so happy you shared that with me. I know you don't really like to express your feelings, so thank you.' I smiled at her. She was so kind. 'Also,' She added. Her face grew serious as she wiped her cheeks thoroughly. 'If Laith is meant for you and is the right man for you, he won't rush you or refuse to take things slow. Take all the time you need in figuring him out and asking your questions. You'll be living with your husband every day and night, eating with them, sleeping with them. Make sure that he's someone you feel blessed to wake up to every day.' She told me. I pondered on her words, nodding after some time. 'And one last thing,' She said, provoking a laugh from my lips. 'In this period of time before you're married, make sure you're taking advantage of it. As selfish as it sounds, I don't think I appreciated the world enough when I was alone, in my own bubble, and didn't have to share everything with another person.' She admitted. 'Please don't misunderstand me, Warsan. Getting married was the best thing that I have ever done, in my entire life. It's such a beautiful thing that Allah has blessed us with; to live in harmony and comfort with another soul, who loves and cherishes you.' Jannah said. 'Allah says in Surah Al-Furqan "And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us a leader [i.e., example] for the righteous [25:74]". Married life is a beautiful thing, but it doesn't come with a deadline. As Muslim girls, we're convinced that getting married is our only purpose. We dream of the day for years, as if it's some shiny gold prize. But it's just a part of life. A good part of course, but it doesn't need to be rushed.'

I sighed and put my face in my hands. It felt so reassuring to be told to take my time when everyone else was pushing me to put a ring on it. I thanked her, for everything.

Just then, the sound of her phone buzzing filled the air. She took it out of her pocket and smiled. 'Time to go.' She whispered. We walked towards the door, down the steps, and into the lobby. Jannah's husband was waiting in the center of the room and beamed when he saw us. He greeted us with Salam, and we returned it. I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes gleamed with excitement as he looked at his wife. His encouraging smile and open arms made her jump excitedly as she quickened her pace. I waited for my brother as they hugged. Jannah turned back and waved at me, before leaving. My heart ached a bit, hoping that one day, I could leave in someone's arms too. My brother appeared across the lobby and I sighed a breath of relief. I just wanted to get out of here and clear my thoughts in a steaming hot shower. Junaid turned his head behind him and laughed, speaking to someone else. Naturally, it was his new best friend, Laith. The two chuckled about something and walked in my direction. I studied Laith, who was smiling at his feet. He locked eyes with me and his smile disappeared. His face, which was usually animated with some type of giddy expression, was now serious and hard to read. I looked at my feet nervously. Why was he walking towards me so seriously? Did he want to say something?

My brother surprised me with a hug. I stood there frozen. We didn't really show one another affection and it felt extremely awkward with Laith's eyes on us. I wiggled out of his arms and looked at him suspiciously. 'Did you put something on my back?' I accused, stretching out my arm to find an embarrassing note of some sort. My brother chuckled, looking down at me with an innocent grin.

'You're a great person, Warsan.' He said. I sneered but grew warm inside. Junaid laughed some more and shoved me playfully. I widened my eyes at him, wordlessly scolding him as I stepped away. Laith appeared distraught as if he had something to say.

'Assalamu'alaykum.' He said to me. I returned the salam. He ran a hand through his wavy hair nervously, pushing it out of his face. I couldn't help but compare his features to a prince. An Arabian prince. The dark brown eyes framed by thick eyelashes, the strong nose, and sharp cheekbones. A flush of heat passed through me so I looked at his boots. They were all-black Timberlands. Just like mine.

'I had a conversation with Uthman. It wasn't a very positive one, but it made me do some thinking.' He said. I gulped. 'He expressed to me that he wished he could've pursued you for marriage.' He added. Laith began to tap his foot anxiously. What was he nervous about? What was he going to say? 'But you and I aren't married yet.' I looked up at him, confused. My eyes met Junaid who shared my expression. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. What could I say? I didn't like the way he looked at me with blank eyes, almost as if he turned off his emotional switch. 'I know that you shared feelings for each other before I wedged my way into the picture, which is okay. I'm not upset about that.' He smiled ever so slightly. My breathing grew rapidly. 'Now that you're aware that the feelings you felt had been reciprocated... I don't want you to feel like he was the one that got away. Or have the idea of what if cross your mind.'

Junaid stepped forward and put his hands out. 'Whoa, whoa, what are you saying Laith?'

Laith extended his arm and rubbed my brother's shoulder. 'I'm going to step down. I want you and Uthman to see if the two of you are compatible. If things work in his favour, then I'll be jealous of him, but eternally happy for you. And if things work in my favour, then it was always meant to be. I want you to do what's best for you, not what is best for me.'

I sucked in a sharp breath. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.