Jannah. [SEQUEL TO DAWUD]

Chapter 40 - Choices

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

If the time of prayer has been called and you haven't prayed before reading this, please do so.

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Dawud's P.O.V

I rinsed the last bowl and slid it into the dish rack. Jannah was sat on the counter next to me munching on a chunk of watermelon. I smiled at her, prompting her to offer me one. She forked a piece and slid it into my mouth. 'So yummy, right?' She urged. I nodded, hugging her waist. My face pressed against her, engulfing me in the scent of her vanilla perfume. 'How do you feel about the dinner tomorrow?' She asked.

I thought for a moment. 'I'm excited.' I answered honestly. 'My mom and your parents get along really well.' I continued.

'Mhm.' She replied quietly. I pulled away from her and watched her expression. Our faces were only a few inches apart. Her almond eyes looked defeated as they avoided making contact with my own and her brown curls hung messily over her head in a loose bun. Even in her sadness, she was unfathomably beautiful. My fingers followed the angle of her jawline and stopped just below her bottom lip. I stroked it softly, causing her to smile.

'What matter is causing my soulmate distress?' I asked her lovingly. She enjoyed it when I spoke softly and gently to her. I tried to maintain the habit as long as I could. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ ordered gentleness with women. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Prophet ﷺ came to some of his wives while they were being driven by a camel-driver named Anjasha. The Prophet said, "Oh driver, be gentle when you carry the precious glass.". She leaned in for a kiss but I leaned back, raising an eyebrow challengingly. 'Tell me what it is.' I whispered encouragingly.

She sighed. 'Do you think my mother will ever leave me alone?' She asked, fiddling with the bottom of my shirt absentmindedly. 'She has a critique for everything I do. And for some reason... her words hit me like daggers.' Jannah admitted. Her eyebrows pulled together in defeat as she shut her eyes. 'Everyone in my life is so kind to me, Alhamdullilah. Everyone but her.' The last few words fell from her tongue piercingly. I waited a few moments, to see if she had anything more to get off her chest. 'There isn't much I can do to change her behaviour towards me. I can't change much of the situation except the way I receive her blows. I understand that. Like you always tell me, if words control you, you give people the power to control you too. I get it. But... it just gets aggravating sometimes.' She finished, letting her head sink into the crook of my neck. I rubbed her back.

'Look at you putting motivational speakers out of business.' I kidded. She chuckled against me. 'I know dealing with your mom is far from easy, but you do an amazing job at it. And always remember that Allah does not forget the good you do. Whether it's having patience with her, biting your tongue or visiting her. Allah says in Surah Ar-Rahman, "Is the reward for good [anything] but good?".' I recalled, leaning away. 'Plus, I'll be there and I won't leave your side for the whole night.'

Jannah glanced up quickly with an eager grin on her face. 'Really?' I nodded. 'Not even if my dad tries to bring you with him to the masjid?' I paused and bit my lip, knowing that I would have to reconsider my statement if that were to happen.

'I'll bring you along with us. How is that?' I suggested. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, letting me know several times that she loved me. 'I love you too. I'll always be your protector, Jannah. Whether it's a dangerously ferocious bear or your mom on a bad day.' I replied daringly. We filled our little apartment on the fifth floor with laughter.

Glory be to Allah and all praise is due to him. Getting married was the best choice I had ever made.

Warsan's P.O.V

I slammed the door behind me, hauling my tote bag over my shoulder. After a few seconds, it squeaked open and shut softly. The hot air erupted from my mouth and into the cold air in quick and aggressive huffs. Junaid escorted me into the passenger's seat of the car and jogged around to sit behind the wheel. We sat in soundlessness as the car warmed up.

'I don't know if you remember how the first day of school went down in September, but it looked a lot like this.' My brother joked, blowing into his palms and rubbing them together. The blistering icy wind that belonged to January pushed against the car windows, humming against the glass. 'You were angry at our parents... and I was attempting to calm you down... remember?' He inquired cheerfully.

I twisted my neck to look at him, attempting to stop the ceaseless words escaping his mouth. 'I really don't want to talk right now.' I spat. My brother watched me warily.

'They're just trying to do what they think is best for you.' He continued, unbothered by my request. I gawked at his conviction.

'Yeah, what they think is best for me. But not once... not once, have they asked me what I want. It's always about what they want.' I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 'Why would I want to have another dinner with Laith? I don't like him!' I shouted, expressing myself with my hands.

Junaid adjusted the vents spewing warm air into the car. 'You don't even know him.' He retorted flatly as if that fact alone was the most obvious thing in the world.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. 'I've observed him for a whole year. Nothing about him attracts me... or sets him apart. He's like everyone else.' I lamented.

My brother pulled out of the driveway, and I put my attention towards the sound of the car tires crunching the snow beneath us. 'Well, I'm liking Laith a whole lot more than Uthman after what happened last night.'

I bit my lip, shrinking into my seat. 'What do you mean?' I pressed.

'I'm not an idiot, Warsan. I know that you like Uthman. And I also know that he may possibly have feelings for you too. But he is terrible at showing them. And that dinner was a perfect example of his immaturity.' I stared at my brother in shock. He looked at me with a grin. 'What? I may not be book smart but I know a lot about guys. And a lot about you.' He added.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but his words hadn't sat well with me. 'What do you mean by immaturity? Uthman seems so put together... so serious.' I confessed hesitantly. My brother and I never spoke about personal matters like this. It was strange opening up to him now.

'Well, look at their actions.' He answered, repositioning himself in his seat. It was evident he enjoyed this. 'Uthman and Warsan like one another. Nothing happens.' My brother spat harshly. 'Laith likes Warsan, Warsan is obviously oblivious, so Laith asks to come over for dinner and then asks Warsan's father for permission to get to know her for marriage.' He spoke in one breath. We turned into the University parking lot as he began to laugh. 'You shouldn't even put the two boys on the same scale.' I raised my eyebrows at his dull honesty. 'Sorry not sorry, sis.' He added.

I unbuckled my seat belt and reflected for a moment. I knew my brother was right in a way. And just because I didn't like it didn't make it any less valid. I just couldn't force myself to accept things as they were. Uthman made things a lot more complicated than they needed to be. It felt as if matters were unfinished among the two of us. Almost like the things that hadn't been said aloud were begging to be heard. Only then would it be easier to erase the feelings for him that have wedged their way into my heart inexorably. Only then would it be easier to make a final choice. 

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Sources: Hadith #1 - Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5797, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2323

Quran reference: Surah Ar-Rahman [55:60]