VIRAGO

Chapter 8

   

    As the sun set on the final day of our first month, we celebrated the cataloguing and completion of our initial consultations. Every client from the VIP day had received the green light to embark on the early stages of their journey; new, unblemished chapters were in progress. All the indications led me to believe this was a good opportunity to pitch my ideas for the new intake to Lars. I was relieved to find him in agreement to staging a second. He conceded that his earlier reservations about the content of the open day had proven unfounded; he went as far as making encouraging sounds about me arranging the next one. I was invited to a debrief, a place to discuss my opinions on how individuals had responded to their initial assessments.

    'I note you've highlighted some concerns; a young lady displaying signs of anxiety you wish to discuss?'

    'Indeed. The symptoms are too acute for her age. She lacks a broader understanding of the complexities, I think it would be beneficial for her to be around people who would normalise her situation.'

    'To which young lady are you referring?'

     'Lucinda. Her mother attended as chaperone; well for all of ten minutes.'

     'I reviewed the girl's notes myself. There was nothing present in her data to suggest any current episodes of anxiety.'

    'Quite; as I said, it's a feeling, it's my belief she's lacking guidance. You read the details on the online bullying? The girl's been victimised.'

     'I did, yet I fail to see the connection between that and the lack of guidance you declare. The data demonstrates the client hasn't suffered any physiological symptoms of the stressors stated.'

     'Not yet, but in the future who knows? Should this cyber antagonism escalate, I feel it would be in our interests to be cautious. The family's high profile.'

     'What are your feelings towards the mother?'

Sinewy fingers wrap themselves around my gut, twisting words I don't have from my body.

      'I don't understand your point. I don't have feelings towards the mother, why would I? Her daughter's the client.'

      'We're programmed to respond to emotions that connect with our interpersonal history. Those responses can vary from mild to extreme.'

      'You think I'm exaggerating her plight?'

      'Perhaps. I think we should both be open to the idea that this particular mother-daughter relationship is resonating with you. Perhaps; you view this as an opportunity to atone, for the maternal failings of oneself.'

The room around me begins to tilt; I avert my eyes to the floor, searching for something to steady myself. I locate a zig zag of grey, a grainy break through the centre of the white tile. I use it as my anchor, an object to focus upon whilst I respond.

     'You said you would never judge me.'

     'And I stand by that. I'm offering my observations for contemplation and a consideration that sometimes; our past clouds our ability to see the present with full and frank clarity.'

     'This isn't personal.'

     'The fact that your breathing rate has increased by around seventy two percent tells me otherwise, my little broken bird. Do I not know you? Am I not the one you can rely on; the only one, to tell you the truth? Your idiosyncrasies, they are attractive to me no, but you must in return be truthful. Create some distance; see the girl once more objectively, then we'll talk.'