✅2️⃣ Testing the Babysitter

Twentieth Test: Retaking the Test

"Boom!" Lorelei laughed so hard that the force of the sound knocked her down, and let out a gale of giggles that threatened to shake the ceiling. She threw the large toy representing the day's Nasty Creature up in the air as well, perhaps symbolising an explosion in her mind, and Adam quickly reached across to catch it. He didn't know if it had a name, but most of her soft toys seemed to, and on some level it felt like it would be unfair to let the unicorn faceplant on the ground just because it had been playing a villain in their story. He held it in his arms instead, and stroked it like it was a real pet caught up in the child's energetic games.

Claudia was giggling when he felt her eyes on him and turned to look. But he didn't stop. He'd been a little silly, but she wasn't rejecting him and she didn't seem to mind the sentimental side that playing with a small child had unlocked. He told himself that she was laughing with him, rather than at him, and he could almost believe it was true.

"Boom," he agreed. "The nasty's all gone now, I think we won."

"Yeah! Now Barbie!"

For a second Adam was confused, but then another vague memory floated across his mind. In more than a few episodes of Professor Apocrypha's Magnificent Gumball Machine, the group had planned to have some kind of barbecue or cookout for all of their friends in the neighbourhood. It seemed that every time they made those plans, a particularly large nasty or some named villain distracted their attention and delayed plans. It wasn't uncommon in the cartoon for every birthday celebration, summer picnic, or the twice-a-season barbecues on the beach to silently morph into a victory celebration when they defeated whatever monster had been interrupting their fun this week. That must be the 'barbie' Lorelei was referring to, even if the dolls hadn't talked about organising one earlier.

"A barbecue sounds good," Adam adopted a somewhat shrill voice for Megan, and waved the doll in the air to indicate who was talking. But as he shifted position, something else caught his attention. He shouldn't have been surprised, after two cups of juice had vanished with astonishing speed. "But do you need to use the bathroom first?"

"Yep!" Lorelei jumped up, not disheartened at all. "I'm a big girl. I can go myself!" And with that she ran off towards the hallway again. Adam started to stand as well, knowing it would only be natural for Claudia to ask him the same question. But he almost fell when he remembered that he wasn't allowed to stand, and wound up sprawled out on the carpet.

"Aww, such a cute little baby!" The praise made him blush again. He was happy to be called cute by te girl everyone in school had desired, but he wasn't entirely thrilled with the circumstances this time. "You can't walk, remember? Would you like me to help you a little, or do you want to try being a big girl again?"

"I can..." Adam started, and then stopped to think about his options. Protesting that he wanted to go back to acting like an adult would just look like a childish tantrum, and there was no way to let her know that he really meant it. But at the same time, she would surely take him at his word if he said he was happy being their tormented baby girl. There was nothing he could really say to let her know his true intentions. Still, he had to try.

"I can be an adult," he said. "This is..." And another moment of hesitation. Not because he was unsure how she would understand his words this time, but because he was having second thoughts about what he wanted to say. As much as he hated being humiliated around the little kid, he'd quite enjoyed being able to play dolls with her. It felt like he was doing something useful, keeping the child happy, and that was worthwhile. Somehow being able to do something like that, helping someone else to enjoy themselves, felt more important than winning any kind of academic award or getting into a good college. And he wanted to see Claudia have a happy life at home, with everyone smiling and laughing. Perhaps being an adult wasn't the best way to achieve that. But was there a middle ground that would give them smiles all round without humiliating Adam as a baby?

"You're not certain?" Claudia's voice was sympathetic, supportive, but still in a slightly condescending way.

"I don't mind playing, but I'd rather not be the baby. I mean, I'm expecting her to say... I don't know what, it's like I'm constantly on edge. Can I just play along?"

"Don't worry, it won't be too long now. She'll need to go to bed soon, which could well be an ordeal. She's started fighting lately, refusing to go to bed before everyone else, but if she doesn't get a good night's sleep she'll have some kind of meltdown. So I'd like to keep her happy, and feeling like she has some power over somebody seems to make her a lot happier. Even though she isn't allowed to use it, just the feeling that she's not on the bottom of the totem pole makes her trust me more easily. Would you be willing to play along, as we have been, until she goes to bed?"

"But what if she–"

"Is there any reason to think she'd break my rules?"

'Because she already did,' Adam wanted to say, but he still wasn't permitted. Unless Claudia told him to tell the truth, he wouldn't be able to say a word about what her sister had done, and that made him feel so helpless.

"No. But please, can I be a little more grown up?"

"Of course. I think when I bring the next round of drinks I might add a little of the tea to Lori's, so I can encourage her to sleep more easily. I won't tell her, don't want to make it too obvious, but it should help anyway. And that should reassure you, knowing that you can stop her if she tries to cross a line while I'm not around. So now the only question is whether you really want to be a big boy, or if you're secretly hoping I'll humiliate you more when it's just the two of us."

"Seriously, I'd like to be treated like an adult. In some ways at least." But as he said it, Adam realised that the most important detail was the question she hadn't asked. She hadn't asked if he needed to pee, and after such a long conversation the odds that she would think to say it were fast diminishing. He was starting to feel his bladder protest now, and as much as he hoped he could feel the drug's effect waning, he still wouldn't be able to go unless she offered him permission.

Adam thought he knew what he needed to say, but if this didn't work it felt like Lorelei's orders could well humiliate him again, when she wasn't even here.