YA' ABURNEE

Chapter 16

Two hours into my aimless drive around the city.

As soon as I entered the car, tears that I held this long started pouring out. I couldn't believe what just happened. Even when we were married strangers, he never raised his voice in such a bemeaning way, at me or anyone for a fact.

If I had just let it pass today, he'd have thought he could insult me and get away with it.

I better know that sudden shouting turns into horrific fights and then into violent domestic abuses. I've read thousand news articles of such.

No matter how small it may appear, he should've never shout at me without any reason.

And no matter how hard it was for him, he should've never vent it out on me.

Thinking such incidents nothing but mere misunderstandings is what leads the men to believe they can take us for granted.

I'd die rather than endure such violence.

What's more, men here seems to be sadistic. But never in my dreams have I thought of Umair as such.

Why are these damned tears taking no turn to stop?

Wiping the tears violently, I started thinking where will I go now.

The more I drove around, the more I realised I have no place to go. I was so blindly independent that I forgot to acknowledge there was still one thing for which I depended on him, accommodation.

Sure my father left a few apartments to my name. But they were rented out. My maternal uncle is already sick with many diseases, I cannot tense him with my problems anymore. My paternal relatives won't take me in. I don't have enough money with me for a hotel that is safe and decent. For a lone woman, cheap hotels are more dangerous than streets.

I stopped at a fast-food place. Parking my car outside, I took a good look at my devastated form. I don't want anyone coming and asking me if I was okay. I don't want any interactions for a fact.

I went inside and ordered for a hefty amount of food. It may take time to prepare and that should buy me some time to sit and think. Moreover, I need my comfort food to calm down.

Soon the place became crowdy. I couldn't blame. It was a nice cool evening outside. Cold pre-winter breezes delivering the arrival of a new season and the devastation of my too perfect life.

I took the rest of my food in hand and went outside. No idea where should I roam now. Noticed a mall on the other side of the road.

Blindly I crossed the road. A minivan driver shout out, "Do you wish to die?" when I had a close call of getting hit by his car.

Indifferent to his comment, I walked towards the mall's automated doors.

"Apa?" A known voice calls me out.

I look to my left. Watching my cousin sister come down the stairs. Noor, a cousin from my mother's side. She was almost running to me.

She was panting by the time she reached me. She grabbed my arm firmly as if I were to run away. "What was that?" She huffs.

"What what?" I ask confused. "Calm down, Noor. Why were you running?"

"You are asking me that?" She scowls at me. "You were almost going under that van! Weren't you watching? Where was your mind at?" She scolds in a way I haven't heard in awhile. Like my parents would've if they were still alive.

The homely warmth her voice held, had me nearing the edge. My knees gave in. And I slumped down burying my face in my hands and started weeping silently.

I have never felt so alone. Even after Baba, my father, died. I had accepted the fact that I was destined to fend for myself alone. Until, Umair happened.

Umair showed me a colourful world. He made me dream an impossible dream I dared to hope it will turn true one day. I never thought it could be otherwise.

I should have never let go of my scavenging-alone instincts so early. This one incident made me realise how vulnerable I have became and how alone I would be without him.

"Hey hey hey!" Noor slouched down with me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so mean. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help it. It almost hit you. And how much scared I got had all those coming down on you. I'm so sorry, Apajan!" She soothed her hand down my back. And kept on apologising.

Calming down finally, I lifted my face. "Noorie, can you take me somewhere? I have nowhere else to go." By the end my tears pooled again.

She wipe my face gently using her palms. "Why not, Apa! Let's go, Ammi-Abbu is waiting for you." She said, referring to my maternal uncle and aunt.

"No, no. I cannot face them right now. Please." I shook my head vigorously.

"Okay, okay, calm down. Then," She thought for a moment, "Come with me to my hostel. I'm going back today anyways."

"Your roommates?"

"We'll manage. You don't worry. Come." She ushered me to get up and helped me stand.

"I have my car with me." I suggest as she starts to halt a rickshaw.

"I cannot let you drive at this situation. Is it parked safely?"

"It is but-"

"No ifs buts. When you'll go to your office, you'll pick it on the way."

"We should at least let the shop's authorities know. They might think its an ownerless car." I interject.

"You're right. Then let's go inform them we'll pick it up shortly after. Then we can go to my hostel."

                 ____________________

I had asked for a sick leave prior. And it is two days later when I'm going back to my office.

These two days, apart from crying in the washroom, I gave this whole situation a thought.

Will Umair be worried for me? He better be.

Will he come searching for me? I don't know.

Will he be sorry for his behaviour? By now, he should be.

Will he ask for a second second chance? I don't want to think anymore.

Parking my car on the fixed parking lot of my office, I got out. I had to lent Noorie's cloths these three days and right now I'm wearing one of hers.

It was still early morning. The lot had many spots vacant. I purposefully chose to come early, to avoid the chance of meeting Umair on the way. I'm sure I'll have to wait outside for the watchman to unlock the doors.

I started walking towards the main entrance when a large hand wrapped its large fingers around my wrist and made me halt.

I jumped and a scream started to form. Rather, soon I  realised who it was, even without turning around. I knew his scent by heart. But the known fragrance made me want to scream more.

I writhed my wrist out of his grip and turned around to face him.

Only a few days have passed but he was looking like he just came out of the cave he entered few months ago.

My heart was yet to be melted.

The culfs of his scrunched white shirt was messily wrapped around his elbow, some parts were falling out. The tuck-in of the shirt was hanging out of his pants by his torso. His attire was evident he had wrestled on the ground, Allah knows with whom. His beards were lacking a good trim. His hairs were all going their own separate ways.

My heart was yet to be melted.

Suddenly he slumps onto his knees, his head bowed, his hands clasped together in a begging manner.

"Please!" His voice seems crooked. "Please, forgive me and come back home." He starts begging.

And my heart starts to melt.

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