My Diary Literally

What You've Missed

School has become so much work. I'm trying to get into college so keeping my grades high and getting applications in has taken a lot of time. I'm goijg to try to go to school for interior design. Ever since I'M was a kid playing the sims, it was my passion. 

To keep my creative juices flowing I've been spending a lot of time focusing on my art classes. In digital photography I explored different forms of photography I don't normally do. Usually I take pictures of nature but, I decided to try people. I can't do normal photos like the ones they do at walmart but, I can do photos of people on stage performing. I sent the pictures I took to the performs and got a lot of good feedback. Inckuding from this cute guy Kevin. 

Kevin is a musician. He plays guitar and when he sings I can always feel his emotions being poured into the song. He's a beatles fan so, I edited the photo I took of him to look like its from the Beatles era. He loved it.... 

his only complaint was the shirt he was wearing lol. 

My other art class, ceramics, I decided to try recreating a drawing I did as a 3-D model. It was a treewithout leaves that stretched like vines through the sky. I made that along with a broken mask and a octopus. Sadly the tree exploded in the kiln. I hope one day soon I can try to make it again but this time in a "fairies pot". Another drawing I made that had the same tree. 

My last artistic attempt was painting. I've always wanted to be a painter but, never had a chance to try it until now. My first painting was a dud. It was a wasp in a storm but looked more like a gray blob with a black and yellow blob over it. My second painting was a masterpiece though. I drew a blank face, no detail though there was shadowing. The black hair I had flow over half the canvas revealing the blank face to be that of a woman. I don't want detail on the face but I want something to show that this woman is seduction itself. then again no one ever truely knows the face of seduction so maybe it's perfect the way it is. 

Anyways, spring fever is coming and I can tell. I cut my hair, myself in a style I don't think anyone in my school has seen before. Though many people critisized my hair for being weird, many others loved it and admired my bravery and originality. but, my hair wasn't the story i was trying to get into. Spring fever, comes every year and its a time when everyone seems more attractive. Of course, knowing it was about that time I managed to create more time for me and lenny to spend together. 

In marine science we were disecting sharks and as usual I made him my partner. On the last day we had to clean up our ess and Lenny cleaned up his friends. We were alone in the scienc lab cleaning together. God, when we are alone it seems like he wants me to make a move. When IT finished cleaning and he wasn't done he asked me to stay. I know it may sem a little cleshay but I said " I'll never leave you." so I sat their waiting... and secretly staring at his ass. 

I noticed he was wearing the belt I complemented him on yesterday. Now, let me tell you, Lenny never wears the same belt two days in a row. I felt like he did it on purpose. When he finished cleaning we left the science lab together and on they way down the hall we decided we should wash our hands so they don't smeel like dead shark. 

So together we went to the bathroom. Me, the openly gay kid and Lenny, the kid who knows I've had a crush on him over 6 years. my face must've been really red because I felt the warmth but, he didn't seem to notice. He was done washing his hands and dried them. He then looked at me with his adorable brown eyes and said " I think I need to wash them again." and I melted.  

He could've left but instead we both rewashed our hand wasting away our lunch period to be together. I felt like I should've mentioned something about me still liking him but didn't want to ruin it. After finishing washing our hands a second time, we started to walk to his locker to get his lunch. Memories started flooding back into my head of the day after I asked him out four years ago. 

He had asked me to go to his locker with him to get his jacket even though it risked both of us missing the bus. we talked all the way to his locker for what seemed like hours. When we finally got back to the lobby he told me he liked spending time with me. Memories of every moment we have both makes me weak while still making me stronger.  

You see, when Lenny is around certain friends he acts embarassed of me and I'm not sure how to take that. I guess I understand since we are basically in two different worlds. I just hope someday maybe our worlds will collide.