My Diary Literally

Blown Off

Will blew off his plans he had with me to hang out with one of our other friends. I'm hurting so much right now. I feel worthless the way he just tossed me aside like a toy he grew out of.

I literally came home and curled in a ball. Every ounce of my body is filled with hurt. How could a friend just tell you oh my other friend wants to hang out with me so I'm going to ditch you for them. Is that ok?

I've always been there for him listening to his sob stories when he doesn't get his way or another girl leaves him. Once upon a time when he ditched me he promised he would never hurt me again. I now see those words are useless now that I am here, laying broken and lost in my thoughts.

I am honestly considering ending our friendship. I'm not sure if I can keep taking the constant betrayal he gives me. But, then I worry if I leave him I will end up more hurt. I will hurt him bad too. Is it really worth it.

I wish I knew what to do. My heart is literally aching but my motherly instincts are telling me to always be there for him.

I know this is hurting me now but isn't it the things that hurt us that make us stronger.

Tomorrow I'm suppose to go to the bonfire our school hosts for the sports teams but I'm hurting so much I'm not sure if I'm going to go. Maybe i'll go just for you guys though, to spice my life story up for you. I told him I couldn't think about it right now and how hurt I am.... Maybe it will sink in by tomorrow or maybe I'll just find myself even more hurt.

So I posted a poem on Facebook about how I felt and without me using his name everyone connected it to him and by them hurting him, I'm getting hurt more and more. Why is it people on Facebook have to dramatize things. Like yes, I am really hurt but what is the point of all of you harassing him? This friendship probably will end and it will be my fault for hurting him. Not the hurt he put me through.