A part of me is missing (saiouma/oumasai)

Missing

-some hours later-

We where sitting on the couch again. A new movie came out so we decided to watch it together. It's pretty good but not my favorite. I laid on his lap and watched him. He is really cute. After the movie he goes to make him some food and i just watched tv. I tried to found a nice sender but i didn't found one.

I stayed on a news sender. It was pretty boring until they Sayed that Kokichi ouma is missing since 3 days. Wait... I'm kokichi ouma! Right shuichi told me about it... I totally forgot about it. They Sayed that might someone had kidnapped. I laughed because it's bullshit. My parents knew why I am not with them anymore. Why are they even trying to find me? They won't find me! Never. And if they does i just will kill myself. That sounds like a plan! I turned of the TV and walked to Shuichi. He was still cooking. He didn't noticed me so i sneaked closer to him with a smile on my face and hugged him from behind. He flinched but then laughed softly. I pulled away and stood next to him. I need to enjoy the rest of the time with him. When they catch me then i have no more time. ,,Let's do something funny", i looked at him with a smile. I don't know why but i felt a bit happy. ,,Sure but i want to eat first, do you want to eat something too?", I sayed no and just watched him. He finished cooking and then eat it. I looked out of the window and saw a police officer. Fuck what are they doing there. The police officer just walked away. I smiled, the will never catch me. The doorbell rang. I flinched and looked to Shuichi and panicked. Shit. He stood up and opened the door. It was only a post man. Shuichi got a package. He closed the door and then walked to the kitchen again. I wonder what's inside. But it's not my business so i just walked to the bedroom maybe i can sleep a bit. A boring day is way better than a day were i just want to die. Sleep is the best thing that exists. I laid down and closed my eyes, after a while i finally feel asleep.

-after 2 hours of sleep-

I worked up in Shuichi's arms again. He was reading a book, it looks really new... Maybe he ordered books again. He look very handsome... I love him so much! He looked down to me and Sayed: ,,Ah you're finally awake!" I nodded and hugged him half. I would like to fall asleep again but i can't so i just stayed in that position. Right i wanted to try reading one of his books. ,,Shu? Can you give me one of your books?", I looked up to him. ,,Sure which one?", He kept reading. Must be really interesting. ,,Mhh something interesting", i stood up. He stood up too and walked with me to his living room. He showed me 3 books and i decided to read one that it's about kidnapping. It sounds really interesting so we walked back to the bedroom and i started to read it.

-after he read the half book-

The book is really interesting and it makes fun to read! I like it. I looked to him and noticed that he already read something else. Wow he is really quick in reading. It's Christmas in 2 days and i have no money... I guess i can't give him something... ,,Shu it's already Christmas in 2 days", i still looked at him. He just answered with an mhm. I guess he doesn't want to talk right now... I kept reading the book and finished it after a while. Maybe there is another part of it. I stood up and looked in the living room for the part 2. I found it after some minutes and walked back to the bedroom. He was sleeping. How cute. I don't want to interrupt his sleep so i walked to the living room and read there on the couch. I cuddled with the pillow and read the book.

-Some time later-

I still read the book but got interrupt by shuichi. He walked in and sat down next to me. I looked to him. ,,Wanna watch a movie?", He looked a bit tired. I guess he just woke up. I nodded and laid the book away. We decided to watch a horror movie again. He laid on my lap and we both watched the movie. I guess i already watched this movie because it looked very familiar to me. It's really comfortable with him. I love him. I just looked down to him and smiled. We can stay like this forever right? I hope so! I'm really glad that he is in my life. I played with Shuichi's hair and watched the movie. I guess he was showing before he came to me. He smells really good. But i still felt bad... I honestly don't want to live anymore. But i don't want to die alone... Maybe something like a double suicide? That's actually a good idea but i guess he won't do that with me so i can just forget it. Nobody would to that with me to be honest....

-after the movie-

Shuichi stood up and smiled. ,,Let's eat something okay?", I was a little bit hungry but honestly i don't want to eat again... ,, I'm not really hungry", i looked away. ,,Try to eat something for me okay?", i looked to him a little confused, i guess he noticed that i have an eating disorder. I can't hide anything from him. I'm such a failure. I nodded and stood up too. I will try to eat....for him! He grabbed my hand and walked to the kitchen with me. He opened the fridge and i saw that he buyed some Alkohol. I smiled, maybe we can drink it together.