Are We In Love? | (Re-writing)

12. I'm Here For You

Vanessa

I slowly walked back to the living room with a glass of water in my hand. I was not ready for this. Yes, I wanted to talk to him, but now that he was here, I didn't know what to say or think anymore. I felt so helpless. I couldn't help Caleb when I didn't even know how to help myself. I didn't want to shed tears in front of him. I didn't know how to deal with this situation.

I walked up to him, placed the glass of water on the table and sat beside him. He looked exhausted, he didn't bother to look up at me. He sat still, holding up an expressionless face. I tried saying something, anything, but I didn't know how to start. I couldn't form the right sentence at this moment.

Did he give up?

I sighed heavily as for the first time I had nothing to say.

My thoughts were filled with pleasant memories of the past. But then I pushed them aside, and there was nothing but my worst nightmares. As I sat there in front of Caleb, I felt an unfamiliar burden on my chest, leaving me breathless and hopeless for a way out of this.

The thought of losing someone.

Losing someone you deeply cared for and loved so much was terrifying.

A mother's love is one of the most beautiful things in the world. A mother is the epitome of selfless love.

Sometimes in life, there were losses, losses that even if we wanted to we could never overcome. Gradually, they became a part of us. Some bonds cannot be broken because they are meant to stay with us even after death. They bound it all with one thing- Love.  

The silence was unbearable. I slowly lifted my hand and placed it in his, forcing him to look at me. I squeezed his hand gently, giving him a soft smile. Tears threatened to escape from his sad hazel eyes, and the sight alone made my heart squeeze in a death grip.

Before I could control myself, the tears came without any warning. That was it! I lost it. I shouldn't cry, but the feeling, oh God, that feeling was overwhelming. I was supposed to be the strong one. But crying felt like the right thing to do. It felt like I had been relieved of an untold burden. With that heavy feeling in my chest, I could feel myself slowly disappearing into the unknown.

Caleb leaned forward and touched our foreheads together. His action nearly shocked me, but I slowly closed my eyes, ''Don't ever leave me, Vanessa''. 

His words were my undoing.

''Never. Never in my wildest dreams, I could think of that. I'm here for you," I sobbed, making a move in that moment of daze.

I rested my hands on either side of his shoulders. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to be there for him.

Breaking away, he looked straight into my eyes with sorrow and said, ''I feel...worthless. It's my fault I didn't do enough to help my Mom".

Wiping away my tears, I cupped his face tenderly in my palms and said, ''Don't you dare, silly. You did everything to help your mother. You are worthy of the things you did for your Mom, the acceptance and the sacrifice. I'm proud of you Caleb. You are not at fault. No one is. And please for the love of God, don't lose hope''. 

''I thought it would get better, and it did, but now...'' He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. "...Vanessa, there is no hope, and to be honest, expectation hurts". 

''Caleb, I-I know...'' I felt weak. ''...I just want you to appreciate yourself for how far you've already come. The strength with which you faced every challenge. All the hope you have kept up all this time. I want you to appreciate that. I know this is the hardest thing that you've ever had to live with, and I know you are not ready to say goodbye. But please, Caleb brace yourself for this''.