The Song of Achilles one shots

Double Date

"Briseis and Deidameia invited us to go to lunch with them at one, are you up to go?" Patroclus said combing Achilles hair "Depends on where we are eating." Achilles said, Patroclus smiled "Deidameia said the Italian restaurant down town."

"O okay then that's good, I'm down. WAIT! Does that mean Briseis finally asked Deidameia out?!" Achilles yelled turning to look at Patroclus "Bri said that Deidameia was the one to ask her out." Patroclus said shifting on the couch "FINALLY! I was waiting for ages for something to happen. It's like every time we would hang out there would be so much tension between both of them, it was driving me crazy!" Patroclus was sure that Achilles excitement rivaled Briseis' "Wait I'm confused did they already go out or is tomorrow like their FIRST date ever?" Achilles said laying his head on Patroclus lap.

"No Bri said they went out like last week I think she said on Friday, I'm not sure I don't remember." Patroclus answered "O okay, I didn't want to be there for their first date." Achilles said playing with the hem of his shirt. 

"What time is it? I don't want to be late, Deidameia hates it when we're late." Achilles grunted "It's about to be eleven thirty, and I don't think she'll mind if we're five minutes late this time, she has Bri to keep her company." Patroclus assured Achilles "But still we should start getting ready. You need to take a shower." Patroclus laughed pushing Achilles away "Hey! I'm clean I took a shower yesterday morning!" Achilles retorted "I know you took a shower yesterday but you also went to the gym and came back gross and sweaty." Patroclus grumbled.

"Pat where's my towel?" Achilles yelled from the bathroom "I don't, it's your towel not mine!" Patroclus yelled back.

"Ugh I guess I'm just going to have to air dry." Achilles complained coming out of the bathroom completely naked "At least put some underwear on." Patroclus said putting a shirt on "Ohh please I know you loooove this!" Achilles boasted putting his hands on his hip and head "Yeah sure, but we have to leave soon if we don't want to get an ear full from Deidameia." Patroclus quipped "Ughh Deidameia and efficiency." Achilles said rolling his eyes "Yeah yeah whatever. Get dressed I'll be in the living room, waiting for YOU to get ready, so we can leave." Patroclus asserted "Ok ok I'm going." Achilles pouted.

"Ok so how do I look?" Achilles asked spinning in a circle "You look handsome, now come on let's go." Patroclus asserted "Just handsome? Come on, call me pretty, beautiful something not just handsome." Achilles whined "Okay, Achilles you're the most beautiful, handsome, pretty boy I have ever seen in my life." Patroclus said looking at Achilles with sincerity "Thank you, you are very beautiful too." Achilles responded.

"Do you know if we're splitting the bill? Because I just have sixty dollars and I think that's nearly enough for me and you." Achilles asked while looking through his wallet "I think so and anyways I brought my wallet, and I'm sure that Briseis and Deidameia have money." Patroclus reassured Achilles while looking out onto the road.

"Surprise! We're here" Achilles yelled as he saw Briseis and Deidameia "Took you long enough." Deidameia sneered "It's okay we haven't even ordered yet." Briseis reassured them "What did I tell you!" Achilles sneered under his breath to Patroclus "Whatever we're here anyways." Patroclus responded.

"So do you all know what's good on the menu?" Patroclus asked flipping through the menu " The panzanella is good." Deidameia answered "Yeah, and the gnocchi is good too." Briseis suggested.

"I think I'll get the panzanella." Patroclus said looking at the menu.

"Do you already know what you're getting Achilles?" Asked Briseis "Yeah I'm just going to get spaghetti." Achilles answered "You sound like a child." Deidameia teased "Whatever, spaghetti is good and I like it. You act like if respectable adults don't eat it." Achilles sneered back "You two sound like brother and sister." Patroclus laughed "SHUT UP!" Achilles and Deidameia yelled in unison " O my god y'all do sound like siblings." Briseis joined in on the teasing "Whatever." Achilles said rolling his eyes.

"This is good, thank you for telling me Deidameia."
Patroclus said taking a bite of his food "No problem Pat." Deidameia stated "My food is also good Deidameia." Achilles said in a teasing manner "Shut up you lit- O look at how cute you all look!" A middle aged women about fifty or sixty had interrupted Deidameia in the middle of her scolding Achilles "Look at how lovely you all look! I remember when I was young and I went out with my boyfriend and my friend and her boyfriend! Those where my favorite!"

Both Achilles and Deidameia where on the brink of bursting out laughing "Yes, yes those are also my favorite!" Briseis said in a happy tone "So which of these two lovely boys is your boyfriend?!" The lady asked "O! Um... him." Briseis said pointing to Patroclus who just nodded with a wide grin " And Im assuming that you to are together?" She said pointing at a Achilles and Deidameia. Before Achilles could deny anything Patroclus kick him under the table "Uhh yes, yes she is my girlfriend!" Achilles said with fake amusement.

"O what are you all's names!" The lady said pinching Patroclus' cheek "I'm Deidameia, that my g-friend Briseis." she said pointing to her left "And that's her boyfriend Patroclus."she said pointing vertically from her "And that's my boyfriend Achilles."she said pointing In front of herself "Ohh! You all have lovely name's! Well I have to go my husband is waiting for me but have a great day dears!" She said waving at them "You to ma'am!" They all said in unison.

After she was out the door they all bursted out laughing "That's my boyfriend Achilles?!?! What kind of shit is that?!?" Achilles laughed out looking at Deidameia "Hey what else was I supposed to say? Briseis had already claim Pat. And if I'm being honest I would pick Pat over you any day, but I got stuck with you so I had to make do." Deidameia remarked.

"I for one was okay with my fake boyfriend." Brisies said looking at Patroclus " Me too, I was fine with my fake girlfriend. You two are the problem." Patroclus said pointing at Achilles and Deidameia "Don't get to comfortable." Deidameia said looking at Patroclus "Yeah you either." Achilles sneered looking at Briseis "Ugh don't worry I still like you." Patroclus said grabbing Achilles' pouting face "That makes one of us." Deidameia said looking at Achilles "How do you even put up with her Bri?" Achilles said with an annoyed look "Well she is much more pleasant when you get to kiss her." Brisies said tucking a piece of Deidameia's curly black behind her ear "Hey!" Deidameia yelled.

"So are we going to split the bill or is Achilles going to pay for everything?" Deidameia said looking at her wallet "Shut up. I actually only have sixty dollars." Achilles mocked back "So I guess we're splitting the bill?" Asked Patroclus "Looks like it." Briseis said looking through her bag.

"Have a good rest of your day!" Patroclus yelled to Brisies and Deidameia from his car "Both of you have a good day too!" Deidameia yelled from the drivers sea door.

"I can't believe that that lady thought ME and DEIDAMEIA where together!!" Achilles yelled shaking his hands frantically "O come on Deidameia's not that bad." Patroclus laughed combing his hand through Achilles' hair. It had been five hours since Achilles and Patroclus had come back from the restaurant and Achilles still couldn't get over the fact that him and Deidameia where confused for a couple "It's probably just because of how you where bickering and me and Bri where just talking." Patroclus said sympathetically "Ugh you're way better than Deidameia." Achilles said stubbornly "You only say that because we're together, I bet Deidameia is tell Brisies how she's way better than you." Patroclus said pecking kisses on Achilles cheek  "Whatever." Achilles huffed out.