A barista in a café stumbles over a black-haired artist often ordering the same: a cup of plain black coffee.
When she ventures to enter his life, who makes her heart flutter like no other, life slaps back with a "not too fast". She discovers his s...
❝You and I will be lost and found a thousand times along this cobbled road of us.❞
29
RUINING 破滅
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Once my feet stepped inside the hall, I was immediately searching for his tall figure.
I had unending questions for him and reprimands for ignoring all my texts and calls. If he didn’t have a good explanation, he was so going to face my wrath. Leaving me in confusion and unrelenting what-ifs was certainly a sin.
I finally approached him with eyes shooting daggers. He gave me a small, innocent smile, which I didn’t entertain. Noah looked happier than how someone should be at a boring university reunion party.
“I got what you were trying to do there.” My teeth grinded. “Congratulations, arsehole.”
Noah giggled my words off. He gripped a glass of cocktail from a counter and offered it to me. “There’s more to come, my lady. Loosen up.”
I clutched my bag harder in my hand. I was starting to shake in anger. “You think I’m joking? I’m freaking angry with you, Noah. I don’t even know why you chose to finally contact me here, in this boring event, rather than answering my goddamn calls. I had to come when I didn’t want to.”
He sighed, dropping his playful demeanour. “Cassandra, please. Quit this. You’re hurting yourself and going to hurt an innocent person.” He gazed at me with hopeful eyes.
Emily might have been anything but innocent. She could be regretful, but certainly not innocent.
“Innocent person?! She hurt you too! Are you just going to let it go?” I reminded him in a useless attempt to remotivate him to continue with the plan, even though I, myself, was getting sick of it; it didn’t seem to work. “You can’t withdraw now, Noah. It’s too late, and we need each other.”
I was too deep in sin, drowning, unable to resurface and see the light of truth again.
“Cassandra, it’s not exactly like that.” He shook his head sideways, giving me a pitiful look that I hated. “The idea of the breakup hurt me, yes, but it’s not her fault forever. My life still goes on with or without her.”
“What the fuck are you saying?!”
Hearing his words, I started pitying myself. Noah was doing way better than me at breaking off bonds with someone. After that hangout with Emily, I started wondering what my immature self was trying to do. It seemed no more fruitful trying to get her out of my way and win Blake over. He wasn’t and wouldn’t be mine, and that seemed final for the better. How was the will to get a man, who was someone else’s already, changing me that much as a person? Still, I hated the way my best friend tried to show me things.
“This you’re trying to do…”—he pointed his index towards me accusingly— “It’s not innocent. It’s no more driven by love or anywhere close to that, Cassandra. It’s spiteful as though you’re seeking revenge… It’s so not you. I need my kind friend back.”
“Shut up!” I screamed in the hall, refusing to let him come at my pride or letting myself cry. “You agreed to do this too! We fucking dealt on it! You’re just as bad, so don’t think you can pull all morals on me now!”
Thankfully, loud music and chatter filled the hall, so I wasn’t gathering attention.
“I’m sorry…” Noah mumbled. “I lied to you. I wasn’t planning to get Emily back as I told you. I was trying to show you the truth, so I suggested to her it would be nice if she moved in with her boyfriend and even go out with you.”
My lips gaped. It was all his plan against mine. My feelings for Noah took a drastic change from appreciation to bitterness at how he tried to mislead me. He didn’t have to; he could’ve simply bailed out. No one forced him on anything. Why would he want to humiliate me that much?
“Blake isn’t going to be yours, Cassandra.”
Don’t cry. My chest tightened, and my throat felt blocked by my upcoming tears that I wasn’t willing to release. I rubbed my shivering arm, hoping to soothe the goosebumps.
I looked up at Noah with glossy eyes. “And out of all places, you chose to slap me with your words here in public?” I cracked out in a wavering whisper.
I’m not going to cry. It’s not worth it.
He frowned, trying to hold my shoulder to calm me down. “I wasn’t planning to say this now… You pushed me.”
“Pushed you? Just check your phone log.”
I slapped his hand away and turned around to hide the shame and embarrassment on my discoloured face. However, I was unfortunate; once I did, a worse nightmare has beaten me.
Blake and Emily were just coming in, with Blake having his eyes on me, but his arm was around Emily. What limit of self-disrespect had I reached to see him do those moves to her multiple times and still want him? Self-hatred bubbled up in my stomach, which started nauseating me. No, I was better than that. I deserved better.
I needed a break. I was plotting in my head how I wanted to end all of the mess and possibly go to live away with my parents for some time, but then what happened flashed by my eyes too fast for me to comprehend. Noah turned me around and held my nape with a warm hand, tilting my head upwards to kiss me in front of the black-headed man.
I froze for a moment. I was a wink away from breaking down in confusion. Eventually, something in the back of my mind told me to oblige and act along for the sake of hurting Blake back. Therefore, I relaxed, wrapping my arms around the man’s neck, and kissed him back.
