At The End Of The Tunnel | k.sj. ✔

end note + reflection

congrats, you made it till the end of this book! by reading it till the end, not only did you tackle several heartbreaks, but also happened to protect my fragile heart as well. i'm not lying, i'm literally crying like a baby rn😭😭😭 i think this book tops as my most angsty creation. i hope y'all found yourselves agreeing too while reading it👀

ik this started off in quite a kdrama like manner hahaha, with seokjin breaking down at a mere sight of joobin everytime he saw her, whilst she remained clueless of his role in her life. since i had intended to keep it as a short story, i agree that many a times the descriptions wouldn't have suited your tastes (those who are a sucker for long extracts, i totally get ya) but i still tried my best in explaining as much as i could😔 i hope y'all found yourselves agreeing too while reading pt.2

then in the 44th part, you might've been confused as to how joobin could all of a sudden see like a normal person again. well, the request seokjin made to the doctor in the previous chapter was to hold her operation while her patron(?) stayed confidential. he obv did it out of guilt, for if he had tried to search for her a year back, she may not have been facing any of these troubles. another question that arose in your hearts might've been that of him declining joobin about taking her to his home (the house the three used to live in earlier + also the one he had to sell to arrange the money for her surgery). well i kinda explained in the brackets itself, so...🤡

i hope jinjoo's role is clear in the story. since seokjin's character couldn't confide in anybody about the tragedy that went down, jinjoo was the only option available to him for a closure. trust me, telling ppl how you feel becomes hard when you've been suppressing your emotions for most of your life. even i find it easy to talk to a wall, but not a person.

tmi: i derived jinjoo's name from the syllables present in seokjin and joobin's name. i think it's cute when kids are named after their parents (as long as their names make sense ofc ) fia, mi amor, i'm so glad you caught on that🥺🥰

the epilogue is a major, MAJOR time skip. thru the descriptions, i've tried to show how they've turned old together *moves to say you won't let go by james arthur*, while joobin's memory has been constantly deteriorating to the extent that seokjin fears she would forget him too eventually. you know what happens towards the end of the chapter :)

tbh, i wrote this book when i felt like i had slipped deep into the abyss of vanity. the hopelessness (with occasional instances of uplifting) is the same i had felt in that time period. i've been sad before, but never to such lengths. idek if i could term it as a mere sadness anymore. but if you'd asked me what was up with me, i would've never brought myself to tell you the true cause. idk, but it's hard for me to open up. i feel like i'd do much better if i tried on my own to get out of such phases and engage myself in various activities to get my mind off the reasons that trigger me. and hence the foundation of this book was laid.

you could call me seokjin's character inspiration tbh 😬

one of my good friends, aaliyah, passed away in the meantime too. even tho i didn't get to talk much with her, i've always felt that she was the maturer friend between us two. hence, jinjoo's character. jinjoo is basically her tbh. what jinjoo is to seokjin, is she currently to me. this book, more or less, is dedicated to her. may she rest in peace❤️

everything is fine now. i feel much better, i succeeded in yanking myself out of that phase. so if anyone feels worried, you don't need to! but apart from that, in case you did, thanks to you i'm bawling my eyes out now😭

joobin is just that character who spreads sparkles wherever she goes, whilst not being able to find the solutions to her own problems. she is one the lead characters— the main reason why i had to add a dash of contagious optimism in the mixture of her personality💁🏻‍♀️

since this is the last a/n i'm gonna write for this book, i wanna assure y'all that whatever you're doing, i'm rooting for you! even if there's no one else to support you apart from your own self, and you can't help but doubt your decisions from time to time, remember this person named sans who's ever ready to help you out. i'll try my best to keep my word. but even for the times when you feel like shutting down on ppl bcs of the problems you're facing, always believe that there's a way out of that too, and that you doing so is completely fine! either you save yourself in time, or time will eventually save you on its own. it's not wrong to take time out for yourself. you have the right to think about yourself. you can't please ppl all the time, can you? that's why i'm saying, if you end up entering into the solitude tunnel, just know that you will, some day, get out of it too.

and you don't need to rush yourself because of that, because doesn't everything happen at the right timing? and there's always light at the end of the tunnel. you'll not feel lost as long as you remember this.

i'm currently writing a YA Fantasy ff concerning all the mysteries of parallel universe, witches, eldritch terrors and ill-fated love (oops, did i just give a spoiler?🤫). the protagonist idol is our lovely jaykay so y'all better move yourselves there bcs damn, is that book facing serious lack of attention? 😭 ik many of y'all are already reading it (y'all my main hoes😤🤩) but in case there was someone else who wanted to give my other books a go, why don't you start with this one? i'll be so grateful🥺

at last, i hope i did the plot and emotions expressed in this book, justice. i also hope y'all found this book worth your time— nothing makes me happier than knowing that🥲🥺

all the silent readers, avid commenters, diligent voters and my rays of sunshine collectively, because of your love and support, this sanflower could bloom again. so, a huge thank you to y'all😳💗

actually you know what? just take my entire heart instead😤😩

thank you and love you!
sans🌻