Remembering Sunday (24,25)

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Chapter 24

I leaned back against the town car seat and closed my eyes. The driver was a short man, but stout. Something told me he was probably also pretty good at holding back a crowed of teenies. I rolled my eyes thinking how ridiculous this whole thing was spending the week with Ben in LA. What the hell had I gotten my boys and I into this time,?

“Look you don’t have to look like I’m going to eat your children,” he said reaching over and taking my hand.

“I just don’t want you to get this idea in your head that I’m going to forgive you and come crawling back…”

“I never wanted you to come crawling back. I want you to accept me back into your life. I want you to…”

“I can’t do that Ben and that’s not all you want. You want LA and I can’t go back to being that codependent person. I have two people who need me to be able to function. I can’t go back to …”

“You think I liked not knowing if I was going to walk into the house and find that you’d hurt yourself? Every day I didn’t know what I’d come home to, if you hadn’t eaten all day because something upset you? I never want to see you like that again, but Eve. I would like to see you. I would like to walk up to you and not see that fear in your eyes.”

“I’m not afraid of you Ben,” he laughed.

“You’re not afraid of me the way you were afraid of your father, but you are afraid of me. You’re afraid that you still love me. At the very least we will settle everything that’s been unfinished.”

“I thought everything was finished Ben. I chose Dane. It wasn’t the right choice or maybe it was for me just not for him. Either way I made my…”

“We’re home,” he said interrupting me. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. I opened the door and got out as Ben did the same from the other side of the car. I turned back to get the car seats out, but Ben waived me away. “I’ll get them. You go ahead in,” I did as I was told and headed into the house. I used my old key. I’d never returned it and he’d never asked for it. The moment I stepped in Hemmy rushed to my feet. I leaned down allowing him to lick my hands. He seemed to miss me, and then to my surprise another puppy came over. It looked a lot like Hemmy.

“Hi there boy,” I said scratching behind the other dogs ear.

“It’s a girl and her name is Rigby,” Ben said caring both car seats.

“When did you get her?”

“Hemmy got lonely after you left…”

“You mean after you kicked me out,” I corrected.

“Well about a month after that,” he said choosing not to defend himself. I was a little caught off guard with his lack of reaction. It was one of the things that kept me on guard. I went into the kitchen and washed my hands then followed the sounds of Ben into the back bedroom. What I saw stole my breath. The walls were a pastel green with yellow bears in different poses. Some were juggling and others were jumping. They each had something unique about them. “I had this place fixed up for them when you agreed to come.”

“We’re only staying for a week Ben,” I said taking the rest of the room in. There were two cribs, two rocking chairs, everything was in pairs.

“We’ll see about that,” he said. Then he left the room, both boys sleeping soundly in separate cribs. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked down at Ethan sleeping soundly. What other surprises did Ben have in store?

Chapter 25

After turning on both baby monitors I went into the living room to find Ben sitting on the couch, his laptop open and sitting on his lap.

“Everyone says hi on twitter and that they are happy you came with me,” he said with a smile.

“Is that fans or people who actually know us?” I asked knowing that if anyone who knew us knew I was here they would be asking what the hell what I was thinking. My sisters certainly didn’t understand. I sat down next to him now knowing what else to do.

“Fans, but I already know what all your friends think…”

“Not just my friends, a few of yours have tried to warn me from the start about you,” I responded cutting him off.

“I…I know,” he said sounding reserved to his own fate. “Hey watch this,” he hit a few keys on his laptop and the screen split into two night vision pictures. I smiled as I was able to make out both of my children’s faces, they were still sound asleep.

“You just have everything planned out don’t you?” I asked.

“No, I’m still at a loss on how to win you back. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Apologizing, bribing, I’d kill if I thought that would help, but I’m pretty sure you would turn me in instead of falling into my arms. I just wish that I could go back in time and fix everything or at least stop myself from screwing up.”

“Ben it doesn’t all fall on you,” I said. “I wasn’t perfect and I probably shouldn’t have depended so much on you. I mean it was probably a lot of pressure.”

“I took on the responsibility; I just don’t think I was ready to give it up when you were better. I wanted to keep you to myself and that was wrong. I’ve been seeing someone, a doctor about it. He said that I have a hero complex and that because of the way Holly and I had broken up, I needed someone to depend on me. I mean even she depended on me for almost everything when we started going out. Then her career took off again and, I guess she had other plans. Plans that didn’t involve me and so first chance she got she was gone. He said that I had a fear of you doing the same thing despite your loyalty and love. I mean with you I felt so loved and as much as you say you depended on me I depended on you so much more. This past year has been hell without you…”

“Stop it,” I said quietly.

“I can’t. Whenever I can I’m going to keep trying to win you back. It’s what you would do if you were in love with someone and you screwed things up.”

“Then how do you explain Dane and me?”

“It’s simple. He’s the dumbest man on the planet to leave like that.”

“I could say the same about you couldn’t I.”

“You know there’s one huge difference between the two of us right?”

“What’s that?”

“I’m trying to fix my mistake; he’s just letting his fester.”

“You ruined your best friend’s wedding,” I said with a laugh.

“I just need you to keep an open mind about you and me. Just give me a chance. I can make the two of us work, starting with dinner. I’ll order some sushi,” I watched as he ordered the food silently. Trying to decide what I should do. “Tomorrow the nannies will show up and I’m having a few things bought in for you. Most of your clothes are still here. I figured you could use those or we could go shopping.”

“You still have my stuff?”

“I hoped that after the tour was over…either you would come back or I would get the guts to come for you. Then I heard from Harvey that you were with Dane and well… I wasn’t really here much after that to clean it out so they stayed.”

“Why do you think I need nannies?”

“Because I saw the circles under your eyes in DC, you’re tired and you need help. So I’m going to help at least while you’re here and probably after you leave too and don’t worry. These are professional’s certified and approved.”

“By who?”

“I don’t know, but I got them from some celebrity friends who used the same nanny service plus keep in mind that for now all we need them for is one week,” I gave him a skeptical look. “Come on you know you could use the sleep and the help.”

“Fine but if I find one thing that I don’t like they are gone,” he smiled.

“Not going to fight you on anything. It’s up to you. It’s all up to you.”

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