I Still Miss You || Minsung

Chapter 31

TW: Mention of Self Harm and Eating Disorder

POV. Jisung

We continued to sit in Minho's lounge and waited for the rest to show up in the apartment. Meanwhile, I was listening to the stories of what had happened all week while I was at home. After some time we heard a knock on the door so I had to sit on the couch because Minho went to open the door.

"Watch out for attack." Felix said and at first I didn't understand what he meant but as soon as I heard the rest in the corridor I knew what was going to happen.

"Han Jisung you have a few things to explain." After these words, Seungmin and Jeongin entered the living room and they immediately threw themselves at me and started hugging me.

"Hyung you don't even know how worried we were." Jeongin was practically crying in my shoulder and I was just patting him on the back to calm him down. After a while they both pulled away from me and Hyunjin came up to me and did exactly the same as the other two.

"Good to see you Sung." I nodded and smiled slightly. The last person to come to me was Chan who hugged me as well but didn't say anything anymore.

Once everyone had told me how much they missed me and other things like that, we sat on the couches in silence and waited for someone to speak. However, further in the room we could hear only the sound from the TV in which an unknown series was taking place.

"I think I should start." I said and Minho grabbed one of my hands to give me courage. "The day we returned from our weekend, I had an argument with Minho, which you might have noticed at school. Additionally, I had a big fight with my mother, some of you know what my relationship with her is and why, but I really don't want to talk about it." I took a deep breath to calm myself down and continued talking. "I spent the whole week avoiding all of you just because I didn't want to see just one person and I know it's stupid, but I was just afraid of any conversation." I looked at the boy who only clenched my hand tighter. "On Sunday evening I decided not to go to school and somehow it continued for the whole week. During this time I was arguing with my mother. More like she was just screaming and I was listening. I was starving myself because I didn't even have the strength to leave the room. And..." I was wondering whether to tell about other things, but when I started I decided to finish. Tears were slowly coming to my eyes, but I wiped them with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "And I was cutting myself. I really didn't want to do it, but it was the only thing I could think of at that moment."

After these words, I put my face in my hands and started really cry. I just felt Minho hugging me to him and I sinking into his warmth which was the safest place for me.

"You don't have to go to the hospital? If the wounds are deep, it's better if some doctor looks at it." Chan said after a moment of silence and I just shook my head. I knew very well that some of the wounds were deep but I didn't want to go to the hospital.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to worry so much. But at that point, I just wanted to feel something other than constant sadness." My words were muffled by Minho's shirt but rather everyone understood what I was saying.

After a few minutes of silence, I heard everyone get up from the couches and immediately felt everyone approach me and I was locked in a big hug.

"The most important thing is that you are with us. That is all that matters now." Said Seungmin at which I only smiled through tears.

When everyone moved away from us and took their previous places, I was still crying softly hugged to Minho. The boy kissed my forehead few times and started lightly tickling me at which I laughed.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

We spent the rest of the day in the apartment watching various movies. In the meantime, we also made a dinner which I ate a bit and then we started talking about everything that came to our mind. We were also going to go somewhere but it started to rain so we stayed at home.

When evening came everyone started to go to their homes and I stayed for a while. We were just lying on one of the sofas in the living room and some music was playing from the TV, which we turned on from a playlist. And even though I had slept a good half a day earlier, I started getting sleepy again.

"Hyung I have to go home." I said looking up at the older boy who lay still with his eyes closed.

"Stay tonight again. I'll drive you home tomorrow after school."

"I'd really like to, but I didn't even take the phone with me yesterday." I started to slowly rise from my comfortable position and Minho did the same right after me. I was sitting on his lap now with my hands on his shoulders. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, not really knowing what answer to expect.

"Because you're beautiful." At his words, my face turned red and I hid it in his shoulder.

"Not at all." I said quietly and the boy just grabbed my cheek with his hand and moved my face so that I was looking at him.

"You are. And you must know about it." He pulled me close to him and pressed our lips together in a kiss that I immediately kissed him back. His hands went to my waist where he tightened them and I braided one of my hands into his hair. After a few seconds we pulled away from each other due to the lack of oxygen, and we both began to breathe heavily. "You're really good kisser."

"Oh shut up." We both laughed and I finally persuaded him to drive me home.

On the way there, I didn't even wonder if my mother was at home. I didn't care. Once we were at my apartment I kissed Minho one last time and went inside. The interior of the apartment was quite dark so my mother was at work on the night shift.

Before I entered my room I went to the bathroom for a quick shower. When I stood in front of the mirror without clothes, I only noticed how skinny I was. There were still red wounds on my pale skin, but I knew it will be gone after a while.

As I got out of the shower, I carefully wiped the wounds on my hands and wrapped them in a new bandage. I also put on the sweatshirt that I get from Minho today and went to my room and then lay down on my bed and smiled to myself like an idiot. 

And although one might think that the reason for my joy was fluff, I was really enjoying it.

 Because I finally felt like someone cared about me.