SHE IS THE MAFIA (BOOK#2)

Chapter 20

How long will this feeling last?
It's like drowning in a sea, falling into a bottomless pit, watching the light disappear above you.
In the silence of my bedroom, I keep my eyes closed, sobbing uncontrollably every now and then. Then I get a grip on myself and slowly fall quiet.

It helps to know he is sitting by my bedside.
His uneven breathing is all I can focus on. And I know he is watching me but is too afraid to touch me in a fragile state. Every now and then, he would carefully brush away the tears that fall down my cheek.

and it's crazy to think that I find comfort in the hands of a murderer.
I find comfort in his scent that dances in the air.
I find comfort in his silence.

My eyelids feel lighter than before as they pry themselves apart. The ceiling comes into view and I let out a final shaky breathe of despair.

"What does it feel like?" he asks.

"Like hell... it's like I can never outrun pain no matter where I go," I sit up, feeling a bit lightheaded, "Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a life. Will I ever find peace with myself? When will I be truly happy with myself? It seems like a cyclical pattern of self-destruction,"

He nods.
because he understands.

"Who made you feel like this?" his tone has changed into something different. The soft and light words are gone and are replaced with masked aggression.

I give a half-smile, "If I tell you, what would you do?"

"I'll kill them," there is no joke in that statement whatsoever.

I swing my legs over and slide into my house shoes, sitting directly in front of his chair. My knees fit perfectly between his. He glances at how we are sitting before focusing back on me. "You can't kill him. Even I can't kill him. Besides, death is an easy way out for someone like that,"

"Him?" Elias questions, "You're meaning to tell me... that it's a man who caused you to cry like this? And he is still walking the earth unharmed and healthy?"

I nod, "He is my aunt's husband. I went to see him today. A cheating and lying asshole who beats his wife. Then I went to see Kindle afterward. A bad decision on my part. Her story is too similar to my mother's and it just... took all my energy to stay unbothered,"

"Oh... so this a personal revenge. You're the justice system," he says leaning forward, "You can use this to get closure once and for all,"

I raise a brow, "How so?"

A wicked smirk stretches across his lips, "Take it all out on him. Take out the rage from your father and your grandfather and every man who has ever wronged you in any way. You take it out on a lowlife like him. Death is inevitable to everyone, but gradually taking away life's meaning from someone is... the best way of revenge,"

I would be lying if I didn't say his words aren't terrifying. Even for someone like me. He has no regret or remorse behind his eyes. He is thrilled by this deranged concept of his. Can't he see that I can see right through him too?

His smirk disappears, "What is it?"

"You're a crazy motherfucker," I tell him, "You say concerning things with such a straight face,"

He laughs.
I like his laugh. So hearty but so boy-ish. a bit maniac.

I get up and grab a hoodie from the closet. Elias stretches out from where he has been sitting for hours. His shirt lifts up, revealing his muscular core. I feel my head tilt to the side as I blatantly stare at him. His head is tilted back, eyes closed, hands in his hair.