Once In A Lifetime (Life Struggle Series #1) COMPLETED

Chapter 23

Nehemiah kept on apologizing about what happened. Sinasabi ko naman sa kan'ya na ayos lang ngunit ayaw pa rin n'yang tumigil. He feels guilty.

He always feels guilty about the things that shouldn't make a big deal.

Hindi naman n'ya ako pinilit. He has my consent. No one is at fault.

"Stop saying sorry. What happened is totally fine with me!"

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. My cheeks blushed as I realized what I've said!

"You like it?" bulong n'yang tanong.

Pumikit ako nang mariin. I breathe deeply as I try to calm myself.

Nakakahiya mang aminan but... I don't like it, I love it! 

"Nevermind..." he sighed.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know what to answer to his question! That's too bold.

We have never tried to do that. Hanggang itaas lang kami. Every time we feel we are nearing that stage, he will put distance between us and act like nothing happened. He was incarcerated by their religious's beliefs.

"Here."

May kinuha siya sa kan'yang gilid. My forehead creased upon seeing a box.

"What's that?" I asked confusedly.

He smiled, "A gift."

He handed me his "gift." I opened the box with a creasing forehead. Today's not my birthday pero may regalo siya sa akin.

"Notebook?" nagtataka kong tanong.

It's smaller compared to the normal notebook of a student. It's a color green with a butterfly in the middle. It has also a lock so people won't be able to read what's inside.

"Ahh. Thank you," I thanked him, still confused why he chose to gave me this.

I do appreciate what he gave. I'm just curious why would he give this to me?

"It's a journal notebook, love," he explains as if he can read my mind.

I nodded, "Journal for?"

Don't get me wrong. I know what's the purpose of this journal notebook. To write down what I did in a day. Ayoko nga! Dagdag trabaho lang iyon. Masasayang lang ang oras ko.

I have lots of important things to do.

"For writing what you feel."

My lips parted in surprise.

I thought we wouldn't open this topic. I'm not yet ready to open my wounds to him. Natatakot pa rin ako sa ipapakita n'yang reaksiyon.

I don't want him to feel I don't trust him. He's my most trusted person but telling him the cause of my sudden breakdown feels wrong. My brain is telling me to keep it inside my head dahil kapag sinabi ko, pati siya maaapektuhan. I might transfer my sorrow to him.

"Okay..." ang tanging nasabi ko.

I am happy that he cares for me. We're in love with each other. Normal lang na mag-alala kami para sa isa't isa pero kung may naaapakan na kaming tao sa sobrang pag-aalala ay hindi na tama.

"You're not ranting to me. What I can do is to give you a thing that you comfortably tell your thoughts and feelings."

Mas lalong napaawang ang bibig ko. May tumulong luha sa aking pisngi na mabilis kong pinunasan.

Masarap sa pakiramdam na may taong nagpapahalaga sa mental health mo. It's rare. I'm glad I have Nehemiah but it doesn't mean I should rely on him always. Paano kung mawala na lang siya bigla sa buhay ko? Babalik ulit ako sa sitwasyon na nilabanan ko noon.