Clark's P.O.V
F*ck it! F*ck it! How we end up this way? How I end up hurting her so bad like... like I've never loved her?! Your nothing but a piece of sh*t Clark, you heard that?! You're a piece of sh*t! "Oh damn you should die now!" I told myself, hindi pa din ako makapaniwala sa lahat ng nangyayari ngayon.
Kanina ko pa pinipigilan ang sarili ko na buksan ang gate, I don't want to see her in pain, I don't want to see her hurt. Hindi ko kaya, lalo na ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya nasasaktan at nahihirapan ng ganun. After a few more doorbell hindi na ako nakatiis, no matter how I restrain myself I can't help it. Kaylangan ko siyang makita, kahit... kahit bago manlang siya umalis.
Babalik naman siya diba? Babalik naman ang babaeng mahal ko, babalik siya. I just need to trust her, and I do trust her. "Babalik siya." I tried to convince myself.
I took a deep breath before opening our gate, "Clark." She softly called my name, damn! I'm going to miss her soft voice. I can sense that she felt relief nung pinag-buksan ko siya, too bad I'm just going to push her away. I don't want to do that but I have to, it's for the best. Kung gusto ko siyang bumalik I need to do this, hindi pwede dito niya malaman ang totoo. "Hunny." She called me using my endearment to her, her voice was a bit shaking but it was still soft.
And I f*cking hate myself knowing that I am the reason why she's like this, she scared of me! My girl f*cking hates me! "Don't call me that! Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I did my very best to sound like I'm mad. But I'm not mad at her, and probably will never be. I wanted to touch her, to help her ease the pain, but... I can't.
"Aalis naako." I cut her off. Please baby, please hunny don't do this to me. Wag mo ng paulit-ulitin sa harap ko na aalis ka. Hearing it from you was like a suicide.
"That's good, umalis kana, ano pang ginagawa mo dito?" I told her, my voice almost breaks. Come on Clark suck it up! Don't forget why are you doing this, this is for her own good too. This is for the best, make her leave Clark! Be man enough. Make her leave!
I tried to recall why I am doing this, because saying that this is for her own good isn't enough so, I tried to recall the conversation Aimee and I had, the day before I started pushing her away.
That day, I can clearly remember how my life turn upside down that easy. With just a few words everything changes. Just like that... Everything is a mess. While I was waiting for Harumi, it was my turn. Sa bahay naman namin siya matutulog. We always do that, we switch turns. After namin matulog sakanila saamin naman the next day and so on.
We were okay with our set-up, okay kami na hindi pa official ang relationship naming dalawa, because we were taking it slow. And besides label na lang naman talaga yung kulang saaming dalawa at okay lang sakin yun, "You really love her." Aimee said.
"I do." I said while I was smiling, I know any minute now bababa na nga hagdan ang babeng mahal ko. "What do you like about her?" Aimee asked me, to be honest kahit pa kaibigan siya ni Harumi I don't like her at all. I don't know why, I just don't like her.
But thinking about that day, now I finally know. Kaya pala, dahil ganun siya, she likes to take advantages on everything around her. She's up to no good. "Why are you asking?" Wala sa sarili kong na sabi habang nakatinggin pa din sa hagdan, nag hihintay sa pag-baba ng babaeng mahal ko.
"Why? You can't answer a simple question? Or maybe you just don't know why you like her? What was that called in tagalog? Nakikisama? Nakikisama ka lang ba sakanya, you know... So she won't be hurt." She accused me, I don't know what's the point of asking though.
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