Percy Jackson after the wars #1

Was it all a part of a plan?

Being in charge of everything was hard. Reyna needed some time off on her own. After Thalia came to New Rome she started doubting her lifestyle. Was she trying to be perfect? Was she trying to be flawless and accepted? She went to the bar close to the Senate to get a drink. It was a Tuesday evening, so the bar wasn't very crowded.
"Reyna," Clarisse said to her and took a sip out of her drink.
"Clarisse, how was your mission in Baghdad?" She asked her.
"It was alright." Clarisse paused. "How and a busy consul like you has time to go get drunk on a Tuesday afternoon?"
"I am my boss. I needed time off." Reyna motioned to the bartender for another shot.
"Personal stuff?" Clarisse questioned.
"Existential stuff. When did you get back?"
"An hour ago." Clarisse realised that something was wrong with Reyna. She knew very well the look on her face. It was the look of trying to pull yourself together, so the other ones don't realise that you are going through something hard and traumatic. It was the same look she put on every day before going into the battlefield. "Do you want to talk about it? Daughter of a war God to a daughter of a War God. I'll be you a beer."
"You are married, right?" Reyna asked her.
"Yes?" Clarisse didn't know what that had to do with anything.
Reyna paused like she was trying to find the best way to put together what she wanted to say next. "Did you want to get married or you did it because you thought that you had to?"
"I wanted to. Chris and I were dating for a long time, and I was going on my first mission, and we thought that it was a good idea." Clarisse admitted.
"You didn't care about what everyone would say?"
"Oh please, I've never cared for anyone's opinion about me. My mum wasn't disappointed that I did something that she thought was normal. Ares and I had a fight about me wanting a nuclear family." She drunk a bit. "He thought I couldn't be both a soldier and a mother. I proved him wrong. I have two kids and I am the General of the army."
Reyna looked even more confused. "That's great. You are doing everything you want."
"Aren't you? You are the Head of New Rome." Clarisse mentioned.
"I am not sure lately. I thought I had everything, but I don't know."
Clarisse felt to ask her something that could possibly ruin their entire conversation. "Is there a chance that you are doubting because you might have feelings for a person from your past?"
Reyna felt a little flustered. "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"
"I had the same problem. A long time ago, I loved someone, and they died. After their death, everything was going great, like it was the way things were supposed to be. But I know that I wasn't doing everything I wanted." Clarisse stared at Reyna. She could tell that something similar was going on with her. "You can't turn off the pain. I don't know what your case is, and honestly, it's not my place to know. The only thing I think I have to tell you is don't let this one person destroy everything you built. Running feels like a great choice, but it isn't, I know."
"What did you do?"
"I chose to trust the people close to me. Trust my brain, not my heart." Clarisse felt a lump on her throat. "People like you and me can't work on emotion. Love is lethal. We have to work with our brain. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."
"I'm sure that my brain got me in this position in the first place," Reyna said with sorrow. "I thought everything was great. I thought I was happy. But am I a puppet?"
"No, you aren't a puppet. Tell me are you happy?"
"I think so."
"Is there anything you could have done to change your life?" Clarisse asked her.
Reyna had to think about it. "Maybe. I am not sure." Thalia had told her to join the hunters on several occasions throughout the years.
"Okay. Let's say you did something different. You would prefer your new life?"
What if she had joined the hunters? She would have to leave behind New Rome and everyone she knew and loved. She would fight on Artemis' side, but never grow up? That was rough. Ever since she was in San Juan she wanted to grow up. And even if she had become a hunter, could she be with Thalia? Not likely. "I don't think so."
"You're just going through some rough stuff. Everyone goes through it. Don't doubt yourself. We are not close or anything, but you have proven on several different occasions that you have an excellent judgement. You will be fine." Clarisse reassured her. "I have to catch a flight, but it was nice talking to you."
"Thanks for talking to me. I really needed it." She admitted.
Clarisse half-smiled "I know. See you soon Consul."
"You too General."