Chapter 22 - Charlie

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Everything is happening too fast. I can't wrap my head around things when I walk next to the hospital bed, holding Jay's hand. I don't even remember how I got int he ambulance with her. 

The only thing I know is that Andrew hold me back the whole time. He said I was making it obvious that we were together, but I didn't gave a shit. The girl I love is about to die and I can't lose her. I did everything that I could to stay with her. I almost fought an ambulance brother who was just trying to help. But I lost it when he pushed me out of the way. 

Coach knew at that moment exactly what was going on with me and Jay and handled the situation. I got in the back and after the door closed they sped away. 

She still isn't stable and her life is still in great danger and I'm breaking down. I'm barely holding on. I can't do this without her. It's all my fault. 

I look at the bloody fist what I hit AJ with. I think I broke her nose, she deserved a lot worse but I got pulled away. 

"You have to stay here." An assistant removes my hand from Jay's and hold me back while they wheel her in an emergency room. 

"Let me go." I try to push her away and walk through the doors. But two security guards help her. "Please." I beg. 

"If you don't listen they have to kick you out of the hospital." She looks at me with sad eyes, she doesn't want to do it. "Sit down in the waiting room as soon as she's ready I will come to get you alright?" 

"Charlie!" I look behind me. The boys are running towards me. When I turn around the nurse is gone and the security guards stand in front of the door. Fuck. 

I ignore the boys who are talking to me, trying to calm me down. I lay my hands in my neck and walk around the room. My anger is rising, I let the anger take over because I really don't want to cry. 

"Charlie it isn't your fault." 

"She's going to be okay." 

They have to shut up. It is my fault she god hurt. I should be the one that's lying there. I will end AJ if Jay dies. My blood boils and my fists shake. 

"Come on Char, Jay is a strong girl." 

"Don't be so exaggerated, it isn't like you two are together." I turn on my heels when Keith says that. His eyes get bigger when I storm at him. "Charlie chill!" 

"Charlie no!" 

I grab him by the collar and push him against the wall with such force that I hear a crack. I pull my fist back. "Don't talk to me like that ever!" I yell at him. "She could die because of me you fucking asshole." I swing my fist at him, but instead of really hitting him I move my fist out of the way. The rock hard swing collides with the wall. 

As soon as my hand hit the wall Andrew gets a hold of me and pushes me up against the wall. "Enough." When I want to push him away he pushes me up against the wall one more time. "Stop it Charlie, you're hurting yourself." 

"It's okay, you had nothing to do with this." When I look at Keith the regret and the guilt settle in and tears start to form in my eyes. "She's going to make this, we promise." 

I shake my head and slide down the wall. Jake bends down in front of me to make sure I don't get a panic attack. Silent tears stream down my face. I see her face in front of me, but she isn't smiling, all the live is sucked out of her face and it's horrible. 

I shake my head in my hands when someone touches my shoulder. I can't. Her dad is going to hate me for the rest of is life and I will drown in guilt. 

"Charlie, let him help you." Keith lifts up my face. I look at the male nurse in front of me. He carefully takes my hand. 

"Can you feel it." I look at my bloody knuckles, I shake my head. I don't even feel it when I make my hand into a fist. To be honest I don't feel anything at all. "Does this hurt?" He softly pushes the swollen skin. I shake my head again. "Alright come with me, I need to take some x-rays to see if it's broken." 

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