Trusting You

~Chapter 26

I crushed her.

I hurt her.

I never meant for it to escalate.

I never meant to say that.

But I was angry.

At her, because I thought she forgot Ally.

I hated that even though Ally was so popular and loved by almost everyone, she was broken on the inside.

She had so many friends, yet she was alone.

In the end, no one was there for her to help her with what she was going through.

She bottled up her emotions and refused to let anyone see she was suffering.

She hid her emotions, and she hid them well.

I tried so hard to get her to open up to me, but she would always shut me down.

I guess that's why I try to confide in only a few people.

That too ones I know I can trust.

Like Jas.

Like Erick, My subconscious adds.

I don't know.

Even Mom to an extent.

I just wish I hadn't lost my temper like that.

I'm sitting on my bed, with the door locked, trying to process everything that just happened.

Why did I have to open my mouth like that?

Suddenly I hear a knock on my door.

"Jesy?" Jordan's voice sounds, from the other end.

"If you've come here to tell me I messed up, I already know." I say.

He sighs.

"That's not why I've come. I promise Ayesha didn't send me either." He says when I open the door.

He walks in and sits beside me on my bed.

"You want to talk about it?" He asks after a moment of silence.

"What's there to talk about? I lost my temper and said things I didn't mean." I say bitterly.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I think you know what I'm talking about." He says pointedly.

I sigh.

"I just miss her, you know? I mean what if Mom's right? What if it's time to move on? I'm scared that I'm the only one not able to move on. Losing her was the worst thing that happened to me." I say, trying to keep my voice leveled.

"I know, I get it. I can't imagine losing Janet. I'm not here to tell you that you need to move on, or that your mother's right. I just want you to know that sometimes, the best way to heal, is by surrounding yourself with the ones you love." Jordan says.

"You think I've been isolating myself?" I ask, confused.

"No, not necessarily. I mean, I've seen how close you and Jasmine are. I really admire your friendship. But I do think you should branch out a bit. I'm sure you have friends close to you, maybe not as close as Jas but still close." He says.

I nod my head as I think about Andrea, Nai, Jake, Erick and Ty.

"I never knew your sister. The way you talk about her, the way even Ayesha talks about her, makes me wish I had known her." He says.

My eyes widen in surprise.

"Mom talks about her?" I ask.

"Absolutely. If you think she's forgotten about her, you're quite mistaken. She'll look at photos of her and a faint, loving smile adorns her face." He says lovingly.