The Lies That Cover The Truth [Oumasai/Saiouma]

Leaving

"Your father maybe...but don't you want to be what you truly are?" She asked, making my father scoff a bit. "But Kaede isn't you darling," The way he said darling was cold. So cold it gave me chills similar to when I would step out of a hot room into a blizzard.

"Baby! Why would you say that! You adore me! So wouldn't you want our daughter to be the same? Don't let her just go to that school that makes her a...nerd...she wants to be like mommy," She said, sounding like a child. I always wonder why my father ended up choosing someone who acts like a teenager. Sure my mother is older than him...but in this instance that doesn't seem to apply.

She is very closed-minded and she makes that clear. She wants me to be a wife to a man and be able to cook, clean, and care for him and our children. That's the whole reason things with me and Shuichi ended up getting so bad...I took my mother's advice and ended up going after Shuichi when deep down I know for a fact that I have never liked males before. Well not in that way anyway. I feel so disgusted in myself for doing the things I did to him all because of my mother's ideals of a woman.

I would have not gone for Shuichi, but my mother saw him as a great future husband for me and the father to her grandchildren...I honestly just hate her for making me feel like an object for her to idolize and use in any way she wants. My father has never done that to me...he is the one parent I feel actually respects me, even if he is always so busy with work that he can't come to many of my performances, he still shows that he respects me...for who I really am.

"I wouldn't say that...you should just let Kaede decide who she wants to be. Her talent brings many things and opportunities into her life so I'm not worried about her not being able to make a living for herself after she moves out." This ended up making my mother even more infuriated. I felt like I wasn't even a part of the conversation anymore.

My parents always end up arguing like this..but usually, it's later in the day or when I'm gone. I hate when there is always contention here. My mother is just never content with anything anyone does unless it's exactly what she would do.

"But I want the little girl who would always look up to me! The one who asked me to take her shopping for cute dresses! And the one who wanted to wear makeup so bad that she ended up taking my makeup and wearing it...I want my daughter back...but you changed her!" She yelled at my father before she walked over to me. Her arms wrapped around me and she held me close to her. I could tell this was part of her plan to guilt trip my father.

"See?! You must have hurt her somehow! Kaede darling, are you okay? Is your father making you feel like you have to go to school and as though you have all these expectations weighing you down?" She asked in her fake sweet voice. The one she used to get things from others.

"Mother, father isn't making me do anything. If anything I feel more pressure from you." I said moving out of her embrace. I could tell she was on the verge of a bad breakdown...so I wanted to be as far away from that as I could be.

"Me?" She asked, trembling. "But I have given you EVERYTHING! I AM YOUR MOTHER!" She screamed before my father reached out to try to calm her down. This was before she screamed again and burst out of the room and left to her room to cry--probably.

"Sorry about that Kaede, you can go to your room while she calms down..." He moved to whisper in my ear. "You can even help me with dinner later...ah wait." He said moving back to look me in the eyes.

"I know you wanted to stay here for the summer to hang out with your friends...but your mother and I agreed to send you to a summer camp for musicians so you can focus more on your talent. I want you to be the best you can be...this can't be changed, sorry." His words ended up breaking something in me. I know he meant well...well no.

I'm sure that's what he wanted to talk about. "Thank you for letting me know," I said leaving the room without another word. My limbs became heavy as I couldn't breathe. They are taking my summer away? But me and the others had planned so many things to do together...and now it won't be able to happen...well with me there anyway.

'God why do they always just- plan my life without letting me know until the last minute?!' I felt some angry tears come into my eyes as I shut the door with my back. I slid down the door moving my knees to my chest. Hiding my face in my knees I began to cry.

It was nice to get all those tears out...but I knew deep down that crying wouldn't change the fact that all of the friendships I have been working to repair in these past few weeks...will all be delayed, missing, or even lost because of me missing an entire three months of time I could be spending with them.

I felt so alone. Why does this have to happen...

Summer is coming in a couple of weeks...the day after finals is the last day of school...and that means I will have left by that time.

Gone for three months.

Three months of memories lost to my mind. Wait...

Maybe I could ask Kokichi and Shuichi a favor. Maybe this can end up not being as bad as I see it out to be.