18
Important Points for Lonely Hearts
Regarding Ashwin's guilt : We need to understand that it's 3 chapters for us but not even been 10 hours in story. Poor boy didn't even get to sleep on it. So, to think that he isn't dealing well with guilt is unfair.
What Ashwin did is nothing compared to what few heros have done in books I have read. So, it isn't very scandalous for me.
Punishment should fit the crime. So his redemption is gonna be only as hard as his action is.
If you haven't figured already, Shivangi is angry at him only for leaving her. She doesn't hold anything else against him. He cant take blame for what was not consequence of his action even though he feels extra guilty for it too
****
Ashwin bent forward a little, the tears in his eyes made its way down his cheeks, his lips trembled as he softly spoke, "Enaku idhu mudiyadhu. En vazhkaila kadhal oru ragamave..."
(I can't do this. In my life, love is a wonder...)
"Ranamave." He heard the assistant director prompt.
(wound)
"En vazhkaila kadhal oru ranamave mudiyum pola. Naan unaku...Naan unnai..." Ashwin sighed as he forgot the lines one more time.
(In my life, love is a wound. I ...you...)
"Cut!" the director shouted in mike. "Ashwin break eduthukonga. Lunch ku aprom vena shoot panlam."
(Ashwin, take a break. Let us continue after shoot)
Ashwin bee lined to his caravan. The day after he enters the most precious relationship of his life isn't the best day to shoot a break up scene. He has not yet come to terms with the major changes of his life and his heart is still holding remnants of guilt. To now convince a girl, albeit in his movie, to leave him is hitting too close home. He needs a break.
Incidents of early morning kept playing in Ashwin's mind. Six months. They have six months for them to prove to themselves that this relationship will have a future without shadow of past. How content she looked after they had agreed to it!
When it was time for her to leave after they both witnessed the first sun rise of the new day together, Ashwin was half convinced he is going to beg her to stay fearing once she leaves, the magic the night weaved might disappear. Her optimism was finally managing to spread on him regarding them.
However, when he was dropping her at her home, before she got down, she looked at him with the most vulnerable look and asked, "Enn decision tappu illai la, Ashwin?"
(My decision isn't wrong, is it?)
There was so much in that one single line. Her trust on him and also lack of it reflected in that one line and Ashwin's heart was soon flooded by doubts of his own. Is he worth it?
At that moment he wanted to take her in his arms and whisper in her ears that everything was okay. At the same time, he wanted to let her go giving her the perfect closure so that she moves on to better life.
That is the conundrum she left him in. Now, it has been more than six hours since he last saw her. Neither of them spoke to each other or even messaged each other. Ashwin wondered if such prolonged silence is okay for a new relationship.
Not for the first time that day he took his phone, typed a message for her, but deleted without sending. He was desperate to reach out to her. He wondered if she was in same plight waiting to talk to him even though it is unlike her to be hesitant to make the first move.
