Erotic Book Club (E.B.C) 2021

The Naughty Spaceholder (Feedback)

I would definitely read more of your work because what I have read so far has met my taste, and I'd like to find out what else you have in store for us hungry-for-more readers ;-)

Your strongest writing trait is creating a heated atmosphere during love scenes. Your weakest writing trait underdescribing at times.

All in all, I'd say your book is an entertaining, intriguing read. Keep up the good work, and stay healthy.

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Reviewer: BellaFrost1617

Comments: After reading the Naughty Spaceholder I can't help feeling that it's more the Crazy Spaceholder, because the character of Lisa is just too much. I can totally relate with Derek over his involvement with her. It's kind of terrifying to find yourself in a relationship - whether friendship or intimate - with someone who is so clearly unstable, needy, demanding and manipulative and I think the author has done brilliantly to portray this intensity and feeling well. I love the fact that the three main characters are so flawed so fundamentally: Lisa is the crazy unstable older woman who is too clingy, Derek, while he's a nice enough guy, is having women as spaceholders while he waits for the One who is so obviously in front of him, and Cathy who is so busy trying to stay in control in so many ways that she's making excuses instead of outright admitting that she really wants to be with Derek. It adds such a strong sense of realism to the characters and their personalities. 

The writing is great and very well written with strong sentence structure and very few errors. Those errors are a missing or misplaced word which is an easy fix with some read through editing. There are a few that come across like fragments like "A sigh was given." that were a little confusing. That's used a lot and would be stronger as a once in a while thing in a moment of tension. Otherwise adding the character's pronoun or name to the front of these sorts of sentences makes them stronger. And for the most part showing versus telling has been really good with full scenes shown and nothing left out, though there are some moments of exposition, like Cathy recounting how she and Derek became friends, that would be better revealed in dialogue than narrative in the level of detail given. I have to say the very beginning was something completely different. 

I loved the fourth wall breaking at the beginning that introduced the two main characters as if they were players on the stage. Granted, it has no bearing on the larger story and might not be necessary but it's a fun twist on the conventional narrative that I haven't really seen done before. It almost suggests the author is using a form of stage craft to set up the story while keeping the author's note advising readers what they're in for interesting and exciting like the rest of the book. It's a really nice touch. And the banter between characters showcases their connection perfectly. The written tenses are consistent and easy to follow, the trading between chapters per characters works well, the descriptions are vivid and fleshed nicely and the erotic scene in chapter three was a huge surprise but seriously hot. And the story definitely keeps the reader interested. For an aspiring author is a great piece that only gets better.

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Reviewer: LivEvansWrites

Comments: The blurb for The Naughty Spaceholder was intriguing, as was the title. Right away, readers know to expect tension. When I read that it had been marked as complete, I thought I would have the full story going in. It seems, however, that it is unfinished? The pacing of the chapters was good, and they flowed well into each other.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the "Cast Note" at the beginning, what a cute alternative to the Author's Note idea!

Now, as for general feedback... The characters are well written. I cannot say that I am particularly fond of how they mess each other around, but you are consistent with the characterisations and personality in a way that makes them jump off the page quite well.