Justice League Femme

Chapter Forty: Batgirl

I frowned at that. At that moment, I knew she was right. I hadn't been able to have a moment to myself. I always prioritized Gotham and the mantle over just about everything: family, friends, aspects of school, rest, reflection. Even my time as Oracle hadn't changed that fact. I was still fighting, just not physically. Now that I was Batgirl again, those elements of my life kept being pushed out.

"It's not easy," Kara said.

I looked back at her.

"Especially when you have a big heart like yours," she added, "you have always put others before yourself. I admire that, Batgirl."

I couldn't help but smile at that. "Babs."

She furrowed her eyebrows lightly. "Babs?"

"My friends call me Babs."

She stuck out her hand to me, as if she was preparing for me to shake it. "When I'm not Supergirl, my name is Kara Danvers, but on Krypton, I was Kara Zor-El."

"We should work more together, Kara Zor-El."

She nodded. "Of course, Babs," she said, "of course."

In this moment, I could feel the truth in her words: respecting my ability to put others before myself so strongly, she sacrificed herself in the hope of saving Earth from the same person that destroyed hers. It felt as though I had been punched in the abdomen. I glanced over at Mon-El. His composure was still, but the fear in his eyes made it clear that he was panicking. I shook my head as a lump formed in the back of my throat. "I...I can't." I dashed out of the medbay as Caitlin tried to defibrillate Kara.

My heart raced as I found myself in the cortex of the Batcave yet again. Tears blurred my vision. I could feel my breaths shallow with every second. The shaking in my legs stopped, only for me to collapse instead. The moment my legs hit the ground, the tears I had tried to hold back prevailed. As much as I hated to admit it: I was losing. I had already lost a good ally in Jason, I was losing Bruce to a deadly disease that infected men on Earth, and now, there was a very real possibility that I was going to lose Kara, the one who had been by my side since reclaiming the mantle of Batgirl. She may die before she knows how much that unconditional support of hers impacted me for the better. In that moment, I felt completely and totally alone.

As I sobbed, I could hear footsteps. I looked over to the sound and blinked away the tears that were about to follow. I could see Cisco walking toward me. "Barbara?" He took off his goggles and held them in his left hand.

My throat felt as though it was closed. Even if I did try to speak, it wouldn't have made a sound. I inhaled deep, shaky breaths. It felt as though the tears were burning down my cheeks. My lips quivered as I looked up at him.

Hurt flashed in Cisco's eyes. A frown drew on his face as he knelt down beside me.

After that painful moment, my throat loosened, though not all the way. "We...we saved the world," I said as I turned to him, "but we lost so much along the way." I swallowed for a second. "Even though I've fought crime before, whether it was with the Batfamily, or with the Birds of Prey, I...I thought that I'd be used to all the loss over time. I had lost my brother years ago and I lost an ally of mine, Jason...I lost him, twice. Our entire team lost Jesse at the hands of a traitor. Then, we lost Courtney and Mary in one fell swoop. I was already at the point of possibly losing my dad and Batman to the disease Brainiac implanted, and now...now there's a very real chance that I could be losing my best friend, too." I exhaled deeply. "Who...who am I going to lose next, Cisco? Who is it going to be when the next shoe drops?" Tears began to well up in my eyes again.

Cisco put his hand on my back and rubbed up and down. "I know how you've been feeling. I know this fight has been hard, especially on you, for many reasons."

I nodded at that.

"But I've seen both you and Kara fight against our enemies. You're both strong-willed. Nothing will ever back down either of you. I mean, hell, Kara had the strength and the will to control Brainiac's ship. She saved us, Barbara, and she's gonna save herself from this, too."

"You...you think so, Cisco?"

He gave me a small nod. "I know so, Barbara."

Not even thinking, I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, his skin absorbing my tears.

A second had barely passed before his arms embraced me tightly. He pulled me in, his chest up against mine. "Kara's gonna get through this, Barbara," he whispered.

"Babs," I murmured through my , "the people I'm closest to call me Babs."

His hand rubbed my back. "I'm happy you see me like that...Babs."

Hours had passed since Caitlin started defibrillating Kara. I had barely moved from a bench not far outside from the medbay and Cisco stayed by my side the entire time. I would catch myself looking back at the doors to the medbay. Neither Mon-El or Caitlin had come out. Thoughts would swim through my head. What was going on for everything to be taking so long? Was there a serious complication? Is she not responding to the medical attention? Was Kara dying, if not already dead? I could feel the nervous energy build up inside me. I'd feel my knee bouncing every once in a while. Cisco wrapped an arm around me, reminding me that I was not alone.

Suddenly, I saw the door to the medbay open. I shot up to my feet when I saw it. Not thinking I ran over to see Caitlin walk out. "What happened?" I asked, my voice shaking with anxiety. "Is Kara okay?"

"Whoa, hey, hey," Caitlin said, "calm down." She placed her hands on my shoulders. She looked at me. "Kara's okay."

My eyes widened. "What?" A weight lifted.

She nodded. "She's just resting right now. She may not wake up for a little while, but yes, Kara's okay."

A smile plastered onto my face. I leaped onto Caitlin, hugging her tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Tears welled up in my eyes again. This time, they didn't feel like they burned. "You saved my best friend, Caitlin. I...I don''t know if I can ever repay you."

"Kara's just as much of a friend to me as she is to you, Barbara. Of course I'd save her. Even then, she's one strong fighter."

I nodded as another tear rolled down my cheek. "That's Kara." A chuckle escaped me.

"Mon-El's still in there with her," she added, "he wants to be with her when she wakes up."

"We'll stay out here," I said as I released the hug, "when Kara wakes up, you can call out for us."

Caitlin nodded. "Of course." She paused for a moment. "I just need to run vitals again, just to make sure there aren't any complications with the procedure." With that, she went back into the medbay.

I looked at Cisco. There was a light in his eyes. I hugged him tightly. Once again, I felt his arms wrap around me. I was never alone.