to love someone else

Chapter 42: back to edoras

When they saw the familiar rooftops of Edoras the next day, everyone felt relieved beyond imagining. The people seemed - looked - as though the weight of the world had been lifted off their shoulders. In a few hours everyone was in their homes, and once they'd settled and taken care of their own, everyone was back to work. A few hours of sleep and many women were on their feet - it was as though no one had been tired at all, not in the slightest. It was with joy that the women cleaned and prepared the food - there was a feast to be had though Aerin didn't feel like one. She hadn't spoken to anyone in days, not even Legolas.

"I'm worried she's fading.."

Aragorn sighed and tilted his head to the side to face Legolas. "She's looking so ill.. so weak.. she can barely carry her bow on her back, Aragorn." Aragorn stayed silent as he didn't know what to say. "Haldir was a good man.. and a good soldier." Legolas sighed as he looked behind him. Aerin was near the back of the group, her head held low as she didn't make eye contact with anyone. He hated to see her like that, so empty so different. When they rode back into the city, it was the most beautiful sight Aerin had seen thus far. Éowyn almost screamed, quite literally; in fact - she squealed, and threw herself around her brother's neck as soon as he was close enough. Aerin let out a small smile before dropping it.

''Thank God you're alright,'' Èomer breathed out as he placed his hands on Aerin's cheeks for just a moment, as if to take a look and check for himself that she was intact. Everyone seemed to be just fine. Aerin looked up at him before looking down and walking past him. Aragorn walked up behind him and put a hand to his shoulder. "She's just lost Haldir... her boyfriend.." Èomer nodded in understanding before he made his way towards his men.

Legolas was still making his way up the stairs, and when he reached Aerin all he said was a ''Mae g'ovannen'' with a small, weak smile. He seemed tired. Aerin wasn't suprised, she hadn't slept at all since the news. ''Why so formal, prince Legolas?'' She half smiled, but all of a sudden she felt she could cry again. It was the most confusing thing ever - having fought by their side in a crazy, dangerous battle almost impossible to win, it was odd to say the least that their encounter with Saruman had upset Aerin so subconsciously. She then went to being silent and looking down.

''I've missed you,'' he said, and his voice was so low Aerin was sure it was intentional so that only she would hear. Aerin didn't know how to react, so she tried to walk past him. "I know what happened, I can't imagine what you're going through.. but please talk to us. It's been so strange these last few days.. without you making your terrible jokes." Normally Aerin would have smiled or laughed but she hadn't felt any emotions like that for the past few days. She looked into his eyes before she pushed her way past him. Legolas sighed as his eyes followed her as she rushed through the corridor and out of sight.

...

All she wanted to be was alone, yet it seemed almost impossible with all the soldiers, people and maids bustling around the corridors in preparation for the celebration. A party. How could she celebrate? To her there was nothing to celebrate.

A hand on her shoulder woke her from her misery. Her head snapped up and she found Aragorn standing over her, his brown eyes beaming down at her, worry and concern plastered on his pale cheeks. Aerin froze, this was someone that she was least hoping to see, in such a state. She used herself for not locking the door. He didn't make a sound, or mock her or tell her some stupid joke he just stood there. Aerin was thankful for the silence, she moved towards the chest of draw in her room, brushing his hand off her shoulder.

"Aerin..?"

He was worried, anyone could see it. She hated it, the feeling that she was making someone else feel bad, feel sorry for her. Why couldn't she just be like everyone else?