Kaebedo || Where The Cold Doesn't Touch

Faulty Feelings - 6

Albedo quiet as a mouse, staring up at the icicle-filled ceiling, feeling too awake to even sleep for a few minutes. Klee and Kaeya sound asleep, the Alchemist is finally feeling content after having to save both of them. It really took a toll on his body though, he felt so exhausted because of it.

Forbid the Archons, although he was tired he was too aware of the Captain sleeping against him.

Kaeya has been so weary but so willing to help him. He had come over to this cold forbidden mountain and ultimately saved the both of them in some ways as well. His intentions were odd and Albedo, for the life of him, couldn't understand why. Why would he come over here?

He didn't seem to like his vision and Albedo wouldn't blame him if he avoided dragonspine like the plague after all of this is over. He couldn't look at him, his head against his shoulder and just looking at the Captain makes him feel something. He doesn't like how it feels, it's intense and foreign.

Albedo had always taken it upon himself to never let people into his life. He ultimately failed with Klee as her own mother had stated that the little girl would be taken well care of by him. But he owes it to her, she and his master were good friends. He felt nothing but guilt whenever he looks at Klee, so he always took care of her even if it was at the expense of his own health.

Kaeya shifts under him and Albedo is again keenly aware that his personal space is crowded. He tries to shift out but that only makes the Captain squeeze him tight, not letting go.

"Don't go, I promise I won't do it again," he mumbles.

He is squirming now but it seems from a nightmare. Albedo can't tell if Kaeya is at all conscious about this or if he's doing it on purpose. The Alchemist can't tell and so he stays put, though every fiber of his being wants to jump out of his grasp. He can't, so he gives into another part of him that wants to stay put. He sighs, "How unbecoming of me."

Albedo holds Kaeya's hands in his and rubs them, trying to soothe Kaeya. The Captain is murmuring incoherent words of fear and doubt. Albedo half listening, he shouldn't tell Kaeya of this because none of this should have been heard by him in the first place.

"Stop, no-" The Captain now, almost squeezing him to death, his voice quivering and his body shaking with fear. Now Albedo really needs to wake him up.

Albedo slipping out, "Kaeya wake up." The Captain stirs, not from being awoken but from the loss of warmth. The Alchemist's warmth.

He tries to grab on desperately to what body heat he just lost. "Not you too, don't leave me too."

And that pulls at Albedo in a way that hurts, loneliness. Intense, just like the bitter cold the storm had brought. It hurts because he understands, he knows exactly what that feels like. No matter how hard you try, everyone seems to leave you in the end.

And so the Alchemist doesn't. He pulls Kaeya into an embrace and whispers words of affirmation. Mumbles of 'It's okay' and 'No one is leaving you'. It's all the things that Albedo wished to hear, the voices and the whispers that constantly flood his head was always so present. The tie between the fallen dragon at the heart of this cold and unforgiving mountain. If only his master were here to calm him down. That's why Albedo wanted to be that anchor for Kaeya, even if for just one night.

Kaeya holding onto him like his life depends on it, he's whispering and muttering but it dies down with time. Albedo never letting him go, he doesn't need to know why Kaeya needs this. Though he has a curious mind, it's in his nature after all, he will not ask. Albedo won't make the Captain suffer anymore than he already is.

Feelings kept hold are so strong but they hurt. Albedo had tried time and time again to be desensitized. He had shut himself out at one point, shut out from the world. Though the world wasn't so forgiving and he eventually had to move with time again. Everything falls apart and he never has enough time.

The thoughts swirl in his mind but are quickly cast away as his companion wakes up with a start. Kaeya's breath hitched and he jerked away from Albedo. The intimacy wasn't on purpose after all.

"Are you alright?" Albedo grabs his hand then, gentle though as not to scare Kaeya away.

Kaeya nods, saying nothing but slowly slipping his hand away.

Then Albedo feels.... disappointed.

No he mustn't, that's unlike him. It's so unlike him that he startles himself. He gets up immediately and goes over to the fire, not daring to look back at Kaeya.

He couldn't see the hurt look on the Captain's face. But Kaeya slips on an easy smile, the smile everybody likes to see. "That was odd huh." Kaeya chuckles, though it came out more nervous than he liked.

Albedo nodded, all his feelings locked up in his heart and he doesn't even want to acknowledge them. They will never surface and he will make sure of it. "I'm glad you got sleep."

Kaeya yawns then, "Did you get any?"

"Some." Albedo was glad to be avoiding whatever transpired between them.

Kaeya sighs with disappointment at that, "We both have work tomorrow. You have to sleep."

Albedo looks at him, his face distant without emotions. He's feeling too much, that's not good for him. He can't show it, especially to Kaeya. "It's okay, I don't get much anyway." Then he looks away, back at the fire pit, flickering a fire and it lights up brightly.

He holds his palms out to it. He just stares at the moving fire and thinks about how it feels. It's warm, but if he gets too close he'll burn.

Feelings are like fire. They can be warm but very dangerous.

He doesn't realize till he sees a hand reach out to grab his own.

"Please sleep Albedo, I'd feel bad if you didn't."

Albedo jerks his head toward Kaeya. Kaeya is staring at him. Has he been staring this entire time? It makes Albedo feel vulnerable, he hates feeling vulnerable.

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He's been feeling too much for these past couple of days. Everything happened so fast and he's been stressed, overwhelmed. He's kept a cool face and said little to a few words but he can't keep this up forever.

His heart is thumping and not in a good way. Whenever he gets like this he shuts himself off from everyone, it's the exact reason why he chose dragonspine to work. No one would dare step into this snowy hell. But he was wrong, someone did dare and he was feeling anxious about it.

Kaeya still holding onto him but not saying anything. He's waiting for a response as if he's demanding one from the Alchemist.

Albedo just shakes his head, he's too afraid to speak up. He might say something he would regret. He doesn't want to be cruel, he just can't handle these feelings. He wants them to be gone and-

"Trust me."

Trust.
Hah, such a feeble thing.

"That's rich coming from you." Albedo snaps back.

Fuck, he's done it now. Kaeya slips his hand away, slow and full of guilt.

"I know, I'll be... heading off tomorrow." And that was that, he wrapped a blanket around himself and slept at the opposite side of the fire.

Albedo wanted to cry, he hasn't cried many times before but this was about to be another. He couldn't as his face felt numb, his heart hurt. He'd been so deprived of rest that he couldn't do anything but lay down, close his eyes and sleep.

'Stop feeling' is all that echoed in his mind.

(AN- :)  So... this was another happy chapter wasn't it? To the Albedo Kinnie, I'm sorry but I'm not sorry LMAO, thanks for the votes guys!!)