Behind the smile

Saya

I was hurt beyond repair that day

It was then that I said what I had to say

Too long I had spent, admiring from a far

Too long I had spent, wishing upon a star

We could have been perfect, paired eternal

I laid my cards on the table, my heart external

He was everything I could have ever hoped for

But he broke my heart and kept lying more and more

Yet he was different from the others

He used to love me more than anyone

But times things weren't going well, I suffered

Now I want nothing more than to forget and overcome

I would be happy in the end, then, and only then

I shut out my thoughts lest they be spoken again

My friends, some stayed and others left me

I knew it was only a matter of time until it happened, being free

I was broken beyond repair and escape was imminent, seeing him

I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes one last time

I wasn't me; I was the monster I'd become

Wanted nothing more than to be comfortably numb

I was driven to desperation, my mind lost

It was too late now, the line was crossed

Took the razor to my wrist and let my pain ease out

I would float away, forget what I was worried about

Too many times I had been deeply hurt

Too many times I was laid in the dirt

He was the first to love me with all of his heart

I don't know if I'm ready for a new start

He might change, but I'm not sure about that

I don't want to get hurt again like the last time

But does he love me after all these years passed?

If I gave him a chance, would he comeback?

I don't know anything about him lately

Is he with someone else?

Did he change or still the same?