Behind the smile

Back in time

To turn back the hands of time

To undo the things, I have done

To say the things, I thought

To get back all the time I have wasted

If it would put you in my arms again

I would risk it,

Risk the loss, risk the chance and relieve any pain

To go back to the day,

To just have the chance,

To say one-tenth of what was in my mind at that time

I'm a slave to my emotions

It's hard to express them

While I sleep alone at night

Your image always comes through my mind

I cuss myself for being silent

I want to speak up my mind

Get these trapped feelings out

I thought I had nothing but time

No, that was a lie

I told myself to keep it bottled up

But these emotions will make me numb

Lies are my sins,

My silence will continue to punish me

And my fear to express these trapped thoughts will drain me

My pen is my release

It's like an orgasm to my mind

It keeps my tears back and out of view

At times I'm not sure what to do

To whom to open up and talk to

Till I decided to write down all my thoughts in this book

And show the wandering eyes what kind of pain I took