Ten Rules of Being a Heartbreaker

Rule Eight- Kissing

Rule Eight- Kissing

A.K.A Too much is more than enough.

It's time to assess your kissing skills.

Do you have too much saliva? Or not enough? Too much pressure? Too much tongue?

I can't tell you how to kiss- everyone kisses differently. Maybe look up different techniques until you find one that's right for you. I recommend testing with a pillow- if it's natural, then go for it.

Make sure you don't kiss too often, or too intimately. Such things should be left and saved for those truly in love. The one thing that should always be avoided is Public Displays of Affection, or PDA. That sends out a message of: "Hey everyone! We're in a relationship!" And you really don't want that to happen.

Avoid it at all costs. An awkward break-up, even if he dumps you, is better than a misconception of a public relationship.

Plan the moment carefully. A spontaneous kiss works for some experienced girls, but it can be too easy to kiss them when they have a mouthful of food, or just when they turn away. Choose your place carefully as well! You don't want it too secluded, in case he gets a little frisky. I suggest a place where you're hidden away from the prying eyes of the public, but also close enough to people so you can scream or just run away.

But please, chew some gum before you kiss. Bad breath is an instant turn off.

"Is he ready yet?" Helena asks, lolling on my bed, her arm flung across her face. "For kissing, that is."

I pause, thinking. Then I glance over at her youthful face which is now alert and staring at me. She bounces, excited by the thought.

"I guess," I say, indifferent. "Why are you so bi-polar today?"

"I'm hyper," she sighs, and sinks back down. "And in love." She fights back a laugh.

"What? With who?" I think back to every male she's been seen with. The only guy she's talked to today is Hugh... "You aren't in love with your brother are you? I don't support incest."

Helena glares at me.

"Why's that the first conclusion you jump to?" She whines.

"Are you a lesbian?" I demand, struck by the new thought. Who else can she be in love with? I haven't seen any boys and now incest has been ruled out so... lesbian. Not that I have a problem with lesbians, but I really wish she'd told me sooner. I could set her up with so many people!

"What? No! I'm in love with the Milton twins. They're so dreamy." She sighs. "Tom and Jack, the angels of heaven."

I stare at her hard. She blinks back innocently- too innocently. That, coupled with the fact she's biting back a huge grin on her face, alerts me to the fact she's lying.

"Is this a dare?" I half shout.

"How the hell did you know?" A tinny voice sounds from Helena's phone, lying on the bed. "I told no-one! I didn't even tell Tom? And Helena, why the hell did you say you were in love with me and Tom? That's really unbelievable!"

"Jack Milton, I will kill you." I say through gritted teeth. "And besides, Tom is better looking." A total lie, as they're both qually good lookingand twins, but Jack is way sensitive.

"Hey! It was payment!" Jack yells. I can picture his indignant face. "She wanted all the gossip from Jason, and in return, she had to-"

"What did Jason say?" I ask, pressing the End Call Button. Jack calls back immediately, but I block him.

"Nothing. Boys don't gossip." Helena pouts, looking decidedly shifty.

"Lies," I snarl. "Boys gossip like old women." This is true. Tom has teased me too many times about the guys who profess to be in love with me.

"He's planning to kiss you!" Helena squeaks. She is too easily intimidated, but I always use this to my advantage.

I turn around, an evil smile spreading across my face.

___

During lunch break, I wander through the hallways with Helena.

"Tell me when you see him!" I hiss. Helena's eyes sweep briefly around the hallway, while I stare resolutely ahead, remaining unaffected.

"The soccer team are coming out from the field," Helena ventures. "He's the captain, right? Oh! I see him, I see him! Quick, look nicer than you do now!"

I steer us towards the entrance of the fields. If I can catch him first, the chances of a public kiss will be minimised, and I'm not going on another date if I can help it. They are too boring for me to live, or even pay the slightest bit of attention to.

"Hey! Hazel!" Jason calls, as I stroll by. The soccer team disperse quickly, yelling about lunch.

"Hey Jason," I smile. He's all sweaty, and his knees are covered in grass stains. Some girls might be turned on, but I think it's disgusting. Aren't there showers or something?

"Can I, uh, talk to you?" He asks.

"Aren't you talking to me now?" I tease. I grab his elbow. "Okay, let's go somewhere more private." I throw a thumbs up at Helena, who rolls her eyes and scampers off. Amazing. She must have been a squirrel in a previous life.

We walk into one of the courtyards, which is empty and has a small stone bench, surrounded by trees on a raised platform. I sit down, and motion for him to sit as well, which he does, awkwardly. I shift slightly closer to him.

"What did you want to talk about?" I inquire.

"Just, uh," he stutters, and clears his throat. "I mean-"

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in quickly, kissing him, taking him by surprise. His mouth is slightly open in shock at first, but then he gets into it, his tongue massaging mine. Surprisingly, he's a pretty good kisser!

Finally, I break away, and get up.

"I should go," I murmur, but then saunter away happily to go find Helena. She'll die when she finds out about this.

asdfghjkl. asdfghjkl. asdfghjkl. We have more than 250 reads people. More than 250 reads. *boom* *head explodes*.

Wow. When did this happen? Not that I'm complaining. I am so, so very grateful. This is way more reads than we were ever expecting (although a traitorous part of me longs for more. Shut up, ungrateful brain.) Anyway, the kissing scene is really really undetailed, but that's because I have nothing to base it upon. Yes, pity me. And I also kind of suck at writing kissing scenes, and I think Hazel wouldn't really descirbe it in huge detail. Maybe. What do you think?

As soon as Rule Ten is posted, I will officially post the question: "Do you want an epilogue?" And then, the rest is up to you!