>>> reasons to live <<<

seven

tw! this chapter deals heavily with eating disorders and food. please read safely and i'm here if you need someone! <3

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bruce fell asleep on the couch at some point and awoke to pounding on the door and his ringing phone. "10:51pm," his phone read. "shit," he runs to open the door and slips, cutting his hand on the door frame. "fuck fuck fuck," bruce repeats, trying not to cry. he can't imagine what tony thought when bruce opened the door. red eyes with deep underbags, a bleeding hand, messy hair that was all but falling out. tony had an angry look on his face and was holding a bag of food, but dropped both when bruce opened the door. "bruce, what is the matter?" tony runs in to where bruce is standing and carefully lowers his friend to the ground. "please stay here, bruce," tony says, with a pleading voice and bruce nods slowly.

before bruce knows it, tony is back and patching up his hand, "shit, bruce, this is pretty deep. maybe you need a hospital..." bruce snaps out of his daze, "no!" tony's eyes widen in surprise and they slip into silence. tony does his best to mend bruce's wound. he gently dabs it and sighs before wrapping it in gauze and medical tape. after he's done, tony pats his friend on the back and bruce hugs him. it was sudden and unexpected for the both of them. bruce starts to cry. not quietly, but loud, gasping sobs. "t-t-tony, i-i do-don't kn-know wha-wha-what's wr-wrong with m-m-me," bruce gasps in between sobs. tony rubs bruce's back, shushing him. "it's okay, bruce. it's okay," he says in a comforting tone.

they sit like that for a long time before bruce finally pulls away. tony perks up, "hey, bruce. i brought your favorite." tony pulls a bag from the floor behind him and bruce sees that it's from his favorite italian restaurant. he used to go there with tony and his family all the time, but hasn't been in over a year. his hunger and excitement overwhelm him and he greedily takes the food from tony. he eats and eats until he can't any longer. he and tony talk about nothing and anything to avoid the subject at hand. when he gets done eating, bruce realizes how much he had eaten. his stomach feels heavy all of a sudden and he doesn't want all of this food in his stomach anymore. he excuses himself and all but runs to the bathroom in the hallway, doubling over the toilet with a finger down his throat.

when his stomach is empty again, he flushes the toilet and gets up to wash his face. he stops when he sees tony in the mirror. "i knew it," tony whispers. bruce looks at him and knows that he saw what bruce was doing. "tony, i-" "you've been hiding this from me," tony whispers again, but louder this time, "how long?" "a little over a week," bruce keeps his gaze down. "you need to get help, bruce. y-you need someone- someone professional, someone who can help you," tony is frantic. "no, i don't," bruce growls, "i'm not going to fucking see anyone. i don't need help, i don't need pity, and i don't need you!" bruce regrets it as soon as he says it. tony steps back, shocked. "you need help, bruce," he whispers again before storming out of the house.

bruce lays on the bathroom floor, sobbing and throwing up until he's sure he has no fluids left in his body. he tries to stand up, but he falls back down immediately. he grabs his phone off the counter. '2:46am, fuck! mom will be home soon. i can't let her see me like this,' bruce searches through his phone to find anyone to call for help. his contacts are full of people who don't care about him and won't help him. he reaches into his apron pocket and pulls out the note that thor left him. 'i'm here if you need me- thor,' bruce read it again and again before typing the number into his phone. he was sure that this was a long shot, but he was desperate. 'he's not going to answer me then my mom will find me here and she will think i'm so fucked up, she'll send me to a facility that she can't afford, and then i'll be alone, alone, al-' bruce's thoughts are interrupted by thor's tired voice.

"hello? who is this?"