when they became villains [draco malfoy] {book 2}

Year 6 - 136

Has there ever been a single good choice I've made?

Astrid lifted the top of her blanket a tiny bit and then dropped it back down. Her eyes traced the outline of the plush bear, drawn on the corner of her bedsheet, her mind elsewhere. She picked it up. She dropped it. Again. Again. And again.

When you come back, maybe you'll have found the answers yourself. She picked her blanket up again and paused, biting down on her lip tightly. But sometimes there isn't an answer. The blanket fell over her legs again.

Astrid only barely registered the door opening. She barely heard the loud greeting of Theodore Nott. Her eyes flickered blankly in the direction of the boy, who gave her a wary glance before his eyes regained their shine and he looked at Maggie Rosier, whom he had come to greet. He handed her a package and she gave him some money. Theo stood in his spot, looking at Rosier with that easy smile of his. 

"What do you need those supplies for?"

She huffed and turned around, pushing it under her and Tracey's bunkbed. "Like I'd tell you."

All I know is nobody's been ever telling me anything...

Astrid trailed her eyes away. Waters of the Great Lake beat soundlessly against the single circular window of the room. Behind it was nothing but that vast, empty dark blueness. Even the fishies didn't bother to notice her. 

Few days had passed ever since she had met up with Dumbledore and no answers had come to her. Almost three weeks had passed and her friends hadn't once bothered to ask if she was okay. Personally, she had been under the impression she had been being painfully obvious, despite how hard she tried to hide it. Maybe nobody cared. Maybe that was better...

"It's amazing how easily you get ahold of all these things," Pansy cooed from her spot on her bed. Astrid looked over, her eyes widened in intrigue as she watched the girl trail her eyes over the form of the boy slowly, as she laid on her stomach, her chin propped up by her hands. 

The easy smile was gone off Theo's face, instead replaced by a knowing smirk. "Ever in need of a favour, I'm just a common room away."

Had she been paying attention, Astrid would've noticed the surprised look Mills was sending her way. Had she noticed, she probably would've disguised herself by laughing along. But she didn't. Astrid didn't notice and she just reverted her eyes back to her hands rather bored as Theo went to leave the room.

Astrid Ninomae too, couldn't exactly bring herself to care about anything else that was happening.

'Lord Voldemort isn't a man of kindness. He isn't a man of compassion or care for anybody but himself...' - what does that mean? Is he insane? Is he human? - 'A byproduct of magic and germ cells.' -  Am I a bloody human? What does anything at all mean?

Just one proper answer would've done. A single speck of truth would be nice. Though all Astrid Ninomae had been left throughout her life had been lies. She didn't know who she was. She didn't know what she was. What was her purpose - reason of existence? She didn't know why she was.

"How do you imagine a man of no care could've ever had a child?"
"He wouldn't, sir."
"Exactly."

Well, there's one thing he wants you for, Astrid, she told herself. Murder. She sighed. Nobody else seems to need you for anything.

"What was that?" beamed the voice of Daphne Greengrass as she stood from her bed. A hand grabbed Astrid's and when she looked up, she was met with piercing blue eyes of a pretty blonde. "Ash," she laughed and Astrid smiled along. If one person yanks any part of me again, like they own me, I'm going to kill them. Even if I don't know many things, I know of the only person whom I belong to and ever will. Me. Daphne was twisting and turning with laughter. Her limbs went in all directions like a noodle - the way she always moved whenever she got overjoyed and filled with laughter. "Pans just-"