Shattered Dreams (Jinkook FF) ✅

24. Taetae

Tae's pov

"Taetae"

"Wakey wakey Tae bear"

"Get up son. You have school today."

" Taetae..."

I saw my mom smiling at me.........

"Yah Kim Taehyung. Wake up."

I wake up from my dream when i heard continous banging sound on my cell. I sat up from the torned out mattress.

I don't know when i slept. Well whatelse i do here. Always inside this four walls covering me.

I squirmed my eyes and moved my bangs from my eyes.

"You have a visitor. Come" The guard told me.

Again. I know who was that. Why can't they stop? I don't want to see them. But that is the only way i can come out of this room. Its really suffocating here. I sighed.

It will be that police officer or that doctor. They are the only ones who came here.

I tag along with the guard to the visitors room.

I reached the visitors room. But i lost my life when i see who was the visitor now. It wasn't that police officer or that doctor. It was....

It was...

My mom.

I can feel my eyes stinking... Tears well up in that....i can't even breathe.... My legs feel weak.....

It got worse when i see the tears in my mom's eyes.

The guard pulls me to the place where my mom sits and make me sit opposite to her. The guard move away from there.

I didn't dare to look at her face. I looked at my lap clutching my fists. This is not the the way i want her to meet me. I want to make her proud. I want to make her happy. Guilt. It is filled in my heart now.

When  i returned to our home after i send to mental care centre, there wasn't anyone there for welcoming me. The neighbours said that my home were sold and no one know about where my mother is. I was searching for her since then. I thought she was with her friends or her relatives. But no... I saw her again in an oldage home when i came there to deliver a courier there. My heart breaks when i saw her in that condition. My mom.... In an orphanage. I really felt pathetic seeing my mom there. When i came to know about her condition, i lost it. I was teady to do anything for her. That's the only thing i can do to her for forgaving me. So i go to different Jobs. Earn money for my mother. I was afraid to go in front of her. So i told everything to a nun there and i gave her money for my mom's needs. She compelled me to meet her saying she was also waiting for me. But no.... I couldn't..... I feel scared.......... Everything was because of me..... I killed my father even though i don't mean to.... My own mom cursed me calling a sin for her husband's death. That's true though. I am a  cursed ome.

I can hear her sniffles. But i didn't look up at her.

"You.... have grown... up so.... fast."

Tears began to move out of my eyes like there is no tomorrow. My mom talks to me. After all  these years, i heard my mom's sound.

" Tae.... Look at....me."My mom told me.

I hesitantly look at my mom... Her eyes.... It has only pain.....

My mom whom i wish to make happy was sitting in front of me with pain and sorrows in her eyes. I feel pathetic.

" The staff in..... my.... orphanage.... told me..... you are the..... one who take........ care of all.... the medical expenses.... But you didn't..... came to see me for once...." She wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffles. I closed my eyes to let the tears fall down.

" why did you do that Tae..... Why did you do that.... WHY DID YOU KILL MY JIN.... JUST WHY? "She screamed at me. I sobbed... That's all i can do then. I can hear she calms down then.

" When every one looked at me with pity..... He was the only one looked at me with love..... He was an angel.... He  assured me once...... that you...... will be okay.... You will come....... to meet me soon.... I will live..... a long life...... holding your hands..... His predictions were.... right... You came..... But if i know that  you  are coming to take my Jinnie 's life.... Then.... I wish i never had prayed for you to come back....... "

  

I looked down again. I cried more and more...

God.....

My mom is crying too. I am afraid of her health. What if something happened to her because of this?  I can't forgive myself for that.

" If you..... kill him for.... making money for..... my treatment, then...
i regret being... alive now.... Because.... My Jin was..... the one who..... give me a second life.... If that becomes a reason for his death...... i wish i am the one who died.... It will be better than living with this guilt. I wish now..... It will be better.... if i am the one who died with your hands....Yes....it will be better in that way.... "

I looked at my mom with guilt in my eyes. I am sorry... Sorry for making you feel like this....i move out of the chair and kneel in front of her. Looking down... Tears flowing more than before..

I want to apologize to her.....

" I-

"Time is over. Madam you have to go now." The guard comes to us.

I saw my mom nodding to him and stood up from the seat without looking at me.. She was going.... I felt like dying when she even doesn't turn back....

I.....

I......

My Eomma.....

My Eomma......

" EOMMMA........" i screamed and get up from the ground. She stops and look back. I ran towards her even though i can hear the yelling from the guard.

I hold her arm and kneel down.

"Eomma....i am sorry.... Please don't hate me..... Eomma.... I don't have a choice...... But...... But.........

My mom take her hand from my hold. Tears in her eyes.... She tried to walk away again and the guard come and hold me from the back when i tried to go to her..

"EOMMA....

STOP....

EOMMA.....

I DIDN'T KILL HIM.....

IT WASN'T ME WHO KILL HIM....."

She stopped and looked at me again with surprised eyes...

I nodded biting my lips.

"You know... Your Taetae don't do that..... Right? I didn't do it..."

Tears began to flow down her eyes...

But there is a little peacefulness in her eyes after i spilled these words.

I am not.

I didn't do it.

I didn't kill him.

I can't do that.

How could i do that when i myself know how much of an angel is he....

I know its getting boring now.... I will try to end this story soon.... Thanks for all those who read this.

Thoughts
💜💜💜💜