The Blue Orchid Years

Chapter 32: (NOT) Meek Lambs Silent Before Our Shearer

Floral scents. Metallic taste. Tight binding on my chest—bandage? Plastic-y texture under my nose—oxygen? Crap, does my breathing problem come back? And what is that beeping?

"Lord Almighty, You can certainly take and you can give, but please don't take him away. Forgive me for challenging Your sovereignty, but it should have been me instead of him. This isn't fair. He isn't a sheep to be slaughtered for Your sake! He's suffered enough, let him live!"

Johan blasphemously misquoting Psalm 44:22? Do my ears deceive me? I must be in delirium.

A trembling hand gently brushed against mine and another familiar voice spoke up.

"Nardho's tougher than he looks. Have more faith in him, teddy. I don't think he's leaving us."

"The surgeons said the bullets punctured both of his lungs and there's also a dangerously high build-up of carbon dioxide in his bloodstream. Given how severe the injuries he sustained are, it would require divine intervention for him to survive. I'm so goddamn scared, hikari."

Why is it hard to move a muscle? Why can't I even lift a finger? Being semi-comatose sucks.

"But his pulse is getting a tad stronger. Feel it. I think he's coming to, don't be discouraged."

There must be a way to respond that doesn't take up too much energy.

I tried to part my lips. They refused to be parted but a weak whimper escaped my mouth.

"Nardho! What's wrong?" Johan yelled. "Watch him for me, Kenta, I'll alert the nurse."

Silence filled the air, only to be broken a minute or two later by the sound of footsteps.

"His brain waves indicate he's regained some awareness of his surrounding," said a female voice. "But his blood pressure is still low. I'll administer norepinephrine. We can expect him to be fully awake once his blood pressure stabilized and his vital signs should return to normal too."

I'll try to blink. I should be able to open my eyes even if only for a few seconds.

"Ah, see, he blinked, that's good!" the nurse remarked happily. "I'll report to the pulmonologist and the internist, they'll come in a few hours, but I think he's no longer in critical condition. He might be a bit disoriented or grumpy, be patient if you want to talk to him," she continued. "I do believe he can hear you somehow although his responses are currently very limited," she added.

There was a distant sound of door being carefully closed and then I felt the weight of a hand on my shoulder. My sight had not come back yet, but the gentleness of the gesture comforted me.

"Nardho, this is Kenta speaking. You were unconscious for three weeks. Listen, aside from minor injuries from Linda's knife, your friends and Moira are okay. They were discharged from this hospital yesterday but might visit you later today. You want a quick summary of what happened? According to Rain, Linda bolted when she realized you were badly wounded. Vannie speculated that the woman must have been afraid of being questioned by the EMT because if they had recognized her then they could have become witnesses with valid evidence if we ever filed a lawsuit. Keith is still trying to trace her so that we can properly bring you justice. By the way, your brother has something to say to you. I'll step aside to give you two some alone time."

I heard a curtain being drawn and my blanket being pulled closer to my chest.

"Hi, it's Johan. I've brought you some white carnations although I know those flowers aren't enough to express how sorry I am about everything. I received your email, Nardho. Thank you for sharing your perspective about Sherlyn's death. I still hate myself for my cowardice, but you're right that we can't change the past, we have to accept that shitty stuff happen," he laughed bitterly before his voice turned into a whisper, "I'm not sure if my remorse would ever go away, but I surely learned my lessons. Romantic attraction can't be faked and human hearts can't be fooled." He squeezed my hand. "I wished I were more courageous, like you and your friends. I led Sherlyn on and it has disastrous aftermath, I'm terribly sorry."

I wish this paralysis could end sooner. If I weren't tongue-tied I'd tell him I'd do anything for him because he had done so much for me. Johan, you're still the strongest man I've ever known.

---

After Kenta and Johan left, Neesa came by with George. Thankfully I was no longer paralyzed and was more responsive. I solemnly vowed to never again take speech and mobility for granted.

"Nardho, I don't know what to say. I got you into this absolute mess and that makes--" Neesa began but George interrupted. "Oh, fine, you go ahead, kid!"

"I'm the one who messed up." George averted eye contact. "I'm ashamed. I should be braver. I can't undo what has been done but I'd like to make amends, Mr. Sitohang, sir."

"George, I've already forgiven you. I know you're not a bad guy and you were just overwhelmed by fight or flight instinct," I took his hand and shook it. "We're okay. I'm not suing you."

"Dad offers to pay most of your medical bills," he said. "And I'm chipping in too."

"You and your dad's generosity is appreciated," I nodded. "Merci beaucoup."

"De rien, monsieur. That's the least we could do. Also, we're teaming up with Ms. Johnson to look for legal attorneys. It was her suggestion to bring your case to the Sycamorean High Court."

"Court? Like, with judges and jurors?" I eyed Neesa warily. "History repeats itself, eh?"

George gave us a confused expression and Neesa chuckled before briefly explaining what I was referring to. He nodded. "I'm honored to be in the presence of a hero."

"No, kid, the credits belong to my wife. She's the kindest, especially to animals. But back to our topic," I bit my lips. "Wouldn't the court expect me to appear for a testimony? I don't think I'd be in good shape to testify. I can't even stand up without crutches."

"It's merely an idea for now," Neesa chimed in. "We can wait until you're out of the hospital. Besides, we still don't know where Linda is running off to. The good news is that we now have solid evidence to get her prosecuted!" her eyes shone with excitement. "You remember the voicemail Vannie got about Rain being captured? In hindsight, that gives us an edge."

"Oh yeah, I see what you mean. Judges should take death threats seriously, right?"

"I don't see why not!" George exclaimed. "The voicemail has the power to render that woman powerless. Isn't it great, using her words against her?"

"For a neuroscientist, she's actually pretty stupid." Neesa laughed. "I imagine she didn't even account for the fact that her voicemail could backfire!" She gave George a high-five, grinning.

I grinned too but then a thought struck me and the blood drained from my face.

"Neesa, the court would want Johan to be present too, right? I'm afraid he's not mentally in a good place to defend himself," I sighed. "He's the type of guy to take the blame for something that isn't even his fault. He's always been that way. Big brother instinct, I guess."

"Maybe we could petition for an exception," Neesa replied. "Convince the court that Johan isn't of sound mind because he's been traumatized. It's not a lie. What happened was traumatic."

"I hope the court will be siding with you and Johan." George said. "You're clearly the victims."