The Sigma Asset 🏳️‍🌈 (bxb)║AMBYS WINNER 2022

67: Noah

"This is Atzi taking a bath...and this is her at the park...and this is her at the vet."

I should have been pleased that it was my last police interview ever. The problem was that we had nothing to talk about, so Ruby was using it as a chance to kill me with pictures of her new chihuahua.

"You can't see it in the photo but she's actually jumping way higher than she looks, you know?"

I scrambled to say something, fucking anything. "What does her name mean? It's real pretty."

The only pretty thing about her.

"Atzi means rain." A  love-sick smile bloomed on Ruby's face as she clicked on through the slideshow. "What does your name mean? Not Zephyr, I mean Jun-su."

"It depends on which Chinese characters you use to write it, but the way my parents chose it, it means elegant and accomplished and graceful, or something like that."

"Woah," Ruby breathed, her can of vile energy drink stilling at her lips. "Zeph. They chose so well."

I thought that she was shitting me, but the way her mouth was hanging open said otherwise. I guessed that I was getting pretty accomplished at piano; maybe I'd deserve my name one day.

"You gonna be busy with all these new leads from Noah?"

"Too many!" she cried. "Sofi's gonna get promoted for sure, which means I might get some of the glory too!"

At that, Ruby set herself rotating in her office chair, waving her arms around and chanting as she spun. The sound of the office door opening had Ruby stop spinning so abruptly that she almost plowed headfirst into her laptop.

"Hey Sofi," she groaned, her forehead creased up against the webcam. "We're just done with Zeph."

"Hi Zeph!" Sofi craned her giggly head around Ruby's laptop screen, coffee in hand, oblivious or indifferent to Ruby's prancing around. "Lovely to see you."

No sooner had Sofi wandered out of earshot than Ruby bent low to her laptop mic. "I know I'm not supposed to, but I emailed you something. Just thought you might wanna read it."

"Thanks, Ruby. I'll open it once I've hung up." Not that I was bothered to read any copies of my witness statements. "I hope you didn't do this without Sofi's permission," I said, tapping open the downloaded file on my phone screen while Ruby slurped more of her gross caffeine cocktail.

"Of course not!" she gasped in offence. "Just don't tell anyone, OK?"

Should have guessed, Zeph. Civic Savior. Just like Teresa.

"Fine. Let me know if you need anything else. Catch you later Ruby." 

I cast an eye over what I'd downloaded.

Holy fucking María.

MARIA POLICE DEPARTMENT

INTERVIEW #3: Tor Eriksen

AGE: 36

OCCUPATION:

INTERVIEWER: D.I. Sofia Borbón

IN ATTENDANCE: Officer Ruby Oviedo, Adriana Flores (counsel to Mr Eriksen)

INTERVIEW START: 0900

SB: Please read the statement in front of you.

TE: I certify that the above facts are true to the best of my knowledge and belief and I understand that, if tendered in evidence, I subject myself to criminal prosecution if I have wilfully stated facts which I know to be false.