The Sigma Asset 🏳️‍🌈 (bxb)║AMBYS WINNER 2022

63: The Vents

Raheem had been curled up asleep, or in some kinda semi-vegetative state that resembled sleep, for the past hour. I guessed that he didn't see the point in remaining conscious after I'd promised him Miles, only to dash that promise into the dirt minutes later.

Noah was a revolting shit-bag shibal-seki. He'd starved Raheem and denied him water for days. Raheem's body was closing down. Perhaps Noah would only find time to see us in the early hours of the morning when the casino quietened, letting Raheem die of exhaustion during the wait.

"Hurry the fuck up, Noah!" I yelled into the vents above us. "When is he gonna let us outta here?" I railed in the direction of Jones's plastic-wrapped body, like he was gonna sit up and answer me.

Deciding to conserve my energy while we waited, I shuffled closer to Raheem, curling us both up against a dead gearbox and tucking his stick-thin body close to mine. Raheem's chest rose and fell slowly, shallow breaths inhaling the rotten atmosphere of the engine room, waiting for death.

A tiny voice cut the air, barely a breath. "You're a fucking idiot, bro," Raheem whispered. "This..." a dry twig of a hand tugged at my tie, "...was your plan?"

"I'm so sorry." I leaned us back against the gearbox, taking his weight. "I needed to get you back."

"Shoulda stayed away. Wasn't your business."

"We're brothers," I said. "And Miles was falling apart. He asked me to help."

"Help? By talking to the police, or by busting back into Sigma?"

He had a point. But the police had refused to help, and Miles wouldn't last much longer without Raheem. "Miles needed you. You two are like...each other's oxygen."

Raheem laughed at that. At least, I thought that the dry little clicks coming out of his throat were laughter. "You don't know shit about me and Miles."

The accusation stung my cheeks like a slap. "I...I know you're...in love."

"Yeah," he whispered. "But we're not crazy. Whenever Cal threatened to break us apart, we promised that we wouldn't do anything stupid to get each other back. We'd stay out of danger, get on with our lives. I'd never forgive myself if Miles got hurt trying to save me. I want him to be happy, find a new guy, live his life. Neither of us has to die, or get fucked-up, for the other."

Wasn't just Will who had unrealistic fantasies about perfect love, huh Zeph?

"Shut up, Jun-su," I whispered into Raheem's shoulder.

I'd always imagined Miles and Raheem to be a single being, unable to exist apart. Watching them fall in love so quickly, so deeply, so completely, had been my brilliant candle in the darkness of Sigma. Knowing that they'd found the rarest gem in Sigma's filth had always comforted me in my weakest moments.

Perhaps I'd put too much of my own hopes into it all. Hope that there was someone perfect for me too, who'd soothe my nightmares and show me a future free from Sigma's shadow. It had blinded me to the reality of Raheem and Miles's relationship. Their love wasn't all-consuming; neither of them would let the other give up everything.

You didn't come just to get Raheem out. You know what you really wanted. A chance to remind Noah that you exist.

"Fuck off, Jun-su!" I bellowed at the engine room's vents above me, startling Raheem who quivered in my arms at the noise.

I hadn't acknowledged it, but Sofi had felt it building, and she'd warned me of it. Revenge.

I wanted Noah to go to jail for what he'd done to me. I wanted to show him that he hadn't crushed me, that I knew all his schemes: his deal with Rafa, his blackmail of Lars, his fake ransom with Eomma, and his purchase of Constance Lyons's apartment, with the entire apartment building along with it.