As Long As You Need

30-Abused

It's the day after Christmas. 

Usually Christmas is my favorite holiday but this year it was anything but. I haven't heard from Noah in two days. I know he could be busy with family, but he always sends me a good morning and goodnight text. 

These past two days nothing. I texted him and no response. He hasn't even come over to hang out with Brady today. They always do the day after Christmas. 

I have spent the whole day in the living room waiting for him to walk through the door. Even Brady hasn't left the house, saying Noah should be here soon. 

"What are you doing Pumpkin?" dad asks sitting beside me on the couch. I sigh leaning back against the couch, "I haven't heard from Noah in days, and he hasn't come over." I say and dad nods.

"What are you thinking Bailey?" I turn to face him, "What if somethings wrong? He's not just ignoring me but Brady too." 

Dad sighs, "Honey, if you're worried go over to his house. I'll tell Brady you went out with friends." I nod thanking him before running up to my room to change. 

I take off my sweats and hoodie before throwing on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Lacing up my converse I quickly brush my hair before grabbing my phone and Noah's hoodie. 

Heading down stairs I quickly say goodbye to dad before slipping on the hoodie and going outside. 

I begin to walk down the sidewalk, all the way to Noah's. Once I arrive I notice that only his car is in the driveway. So he is home. 

Taking a deep breath I walk up to his front door and knock. I wait a few moments until the door unlocks and swings open. 

I gasp at the sight in front of me. 

Noah is standing there, he has a black eye and busted lip. His cheek is swollen, a gash on his head. The worst part about it is the finger marks on his throat, as if someone choked him. 

I reach out to touch his face but he flinches back, I gulp back the tears forming, "Noah, what happened?" he shakes his head going to shut the door on me but I stop it.

"Noah." he sighs still not saying anything. He opens the door letting me in. I walk by him taking in his house. I haven't been here in ages. 

He turns around heading up the stairs and I follow. "Noah wait." he doesn't stop entering a room and I go in it as well. I watch as he sits on his bed he places his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. 

I close his door before sitting next to him. I go to rub his back but he flinches away. 

His face still in his hands. "Noah, baby tell me what happened." I gulp, "Please." I beg and he shakes his head. 

"I can't." he whispers into his hands. I place my hand on his thigh rubbing it soothingly. 

He looks up at me tears in his eyes. My lip quivers but I stop the tears wanting to fall. I need to be here for him. I open my arms and he falls into them wrapping his arms around me, his head on my chest. 

I wrap my arms around him resting my head on top of his. He cries into me and all I want to do is take this pain away from him. I know it's not the physical pain that has him in tears. He's upset and I can't stand it. He doesn't deserve what ever happened to have him like this. 

"Please tell me what happened." I say again and I feel him shake his head, "Bails I-I can't, please just d-don't leave." A lone tear escapes my eye. The pain in his voice breaks me. 

"As long as you need." I say softly rubbing his back. 

We stay there like that for a while. Me holding him in my arms. If he asked I would stay like this forever, never letting him go. 

Eventually however he does pull away. I look up into his broken face, holding back the waterfall of tears that want to fall. 

I lean up and softly kiss the gash on his head, then the one on his eyebrow, his eyelid of his black eye, his cheek, his busted lip. Then I pull away my hand reaching out and softly tracing the bruises on his neck. 

So desperately I want to know who the hell did this to him, but I know I can't ask again. He isn't ready to tell me and I can't push him, I won't. My hands run from his neck down his front before ending at the hem of his shirt. 

I tug it up and over his head. 

I was right. 

Bruises litter both sides of his body. "Noah." I whisper tracing the bruises. My fingers barely grazing his skin. 

I know he's been beaten up before, never this bad. A million scenarios run through my head, but one sticks out to me. Part of me feels completely stupid for never thinking it. Maybe it was denial or just the hope that a father wouldn't do that to their son. 

Meeting his eyes I can tell he knows I figured it out. His hand reaches out to mine grabbing it and rubbing circles on my wrist. 

"He's never been this angry." he says quietly. I don't say anything letting him continue. 

He sighs, "It used to be for small stuff, a beating for coming home late, or losing a game. This past year he's gotten worse. Even if we win he'd hit me if he believed I didnt do my best. Then for the party-"

The party. The one he threw because he knew I didnt want Brady throwing one. He got in trouble because of me. 

"Don't blame yourself Bails, plus I had a fun time at that party-" I blush looking down. That seems so long ago. 

"This time though he was drunk. He came home and saw me sitting with mom on the couch. He didn't recognize me Bails." he said squeezing my hand. 

"He thought I was some guy in his house, who didn't belong there. He pushed me through the china cabinet. Once he realized who I was he beat me more. Said he just knew I did something and deserved it." 

He takes a deep breath.

"I don't know what to do Bails." he croaks out and I give his hand a squeeze. "Come stay with me, we can tell my dad and he can help-"

He pulls his hand out of my grasp, "No he can't know." I furrow my brows, "Noah."

Noah stands, "Bails you can't tell him, please you can't." he pleads tears brimming his eyes. 

I sigh looking down at my hands, "Please." he begs and I look back up at him. I want to promise so bad. 

I can't. 

I think he sees it in my face because he runs a hand through his hair frustrated. He comes back sitting beside me, facing me. 

"I-I can't promise that Noah. You need to be somewhere safe, I can't keep going on pretending I don't know what's happening. I can't stay quiet, not after my mom." I whisper the last part and hear him sigh. 

"I know." I look back up at him and he reaches out wiping the tears I didnt even realize had fallen from my eyes, "Stay the night Bails, my dad doesn't get back from his business trip until the 31st." I nod.

He stands going into his dresser and pulling out a pair of boxers and one of his shirts for me. I change into that and we lay on his bed. 

Tonight I cuddle and comfort him. 

I know though that tomorrow, I need to make a decision.