The Vampire & the Rebel (Completed)

Part 3: Chapter 25

Perhaps there was nothing I could do with him. And unfortunately, I could not even go back to my own chambers to hide from the problem, because he very well was probably still there, gouging himself on enough blood to feel some semblance of humanity again. Poor Jamie.

And here I was thinking of him again, although I had tried to turn my mind away. Was this what Leif's life with me was like? How amusingly troublesome.

Draining my cup, I poured more and I quickly got to my feet and wandered back to the eastern balcony. Looking out into the dark distance beyond the walls, I missed wandering the wilds without restriction when I was in a mood like this. We had vampire patrols on the borders now, as well as humans watching for any signs of our enemies through technological means, but there was still the possibility that someone could get through.

I could distract myself better than this. I looked out at the yard. A couple of groups composed of vampires were training and my mind flashed to images of Jamie sparring. On the walls, there were vampiric guards stationed, looking out through the darkness of the night for any possible threats, and of course I remembered my encounter with him at the gates.

I just could not escape him. We were all terribly secure considering that the council might attack us at any time, and also terribly trapped. I was stuck in my own home with my beloved angry obsession and even my memories were working against me.

I wanted to go and find him, but would my presence only make everything worse? He was clearly furious at me, at least in part with good reason. Everything I had done was well justified, or at least I could pretend that it was, but I could understand why he would still harbour resentment.

More concerning was how Jamie was going to survive now that he hated what he had become. Drak's assurance that Jamie did not have to be trapped into this life was no reassurance at all, because that was a terrible end.

Perhaps I should not avoid him at all, force him to use his courage and determination to look at the truth of what he had become. This was a cold half life, an unlife, but we could still influence events, as I had set myself to do. We had both already changed the world, for better or ill, and we could keep doing that as long as we had movement and minds.

I did not want him to give up and die, and so I would have to convince him it was worth enduring.

Finding Jamie was difficult, and that bothered me. When he had been human, it had been easier. I checked my chambers with no luck, before heading to the common areas only to find seemingly every vampire but him.

Then I found Drak sitting alone in the empty small dining room, drinking a glass of dreadfully cold blood. I ignored my distaste at his beverage choice and noted that Jamie was nowhere to be seen.

"You let him go off on his own?" I asked him, trying not to sound accusatory.

Drak met my eyes. "Why not? He's calmed down."

"And he's in a new and volatile state—"

"And he'll be fine."

"But—"

"And I'm fairly certain he does not need you to replace his mother, so let him be."

I scowled at that. "Of course he doesn't need me to do that, but he's new to—"

"He is, and he's determined. You don't need to worry."

"I am absolutely not worrying."

He shot me an irritatingly doubtful expression.

"I'm not. I just know how hard it is to adapt."

"And he's extremely adaptable. He'll be fine, even if it's hard for him. He's a survivor. You know him."