epiphany || bucky barnes

𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

"What would you do if I were to die tomorrow?" He whispered.

My head fell so I could look at my nails, "If you were to die tomorrow and I knew today, maybe I'd actually have sex with you to fulfill your dying wish. If not, then we have all the time in the world."

"So... you are saying you would fuck me?" He tilted his head.

"Listen, I heard you. That night after we kissed. In your cell. You figure out the rest. You want me, I want you, what's the difference?"

His eyes widened, "You heard me?"

"Pandora! Oh my god!" I let out a mocking moan before looking him dead in the eyes, "You're loud. Like, really loud. Or maybe I was just focused on listening to you rather than anything else. I have no clue, and personally, I think it's better that I have that information now."

"I don't know how this went from training to sex talk. Very unprofessional of you." He was flustered, it made me laugh.

"Things happen. Now tell me, sweetheart, am I wrong for thinking you like me as more than a partner?" I asked in a whisper, slowly walking to him as my hand ran down his chest, "Or is it just because you're bored?"

The soldier stared at my hand rather than my face, that gaze soon moving to my body. A smirk appeared on my lips as I nodded. "That's what I thought. Now get some sleep."

...

BUCKY'S POV

2024.

My eyes fluttered open to my empty arms. As if, in the middle of the night, I was reaching for nothing but air. I sat up, finding the bathroom door cracked open a bit as I slid off the mattress. I gently pushed the door open.

Lucy was on the floor. Her head was in her hands, hot and never-ending tears were coating her cheeks as she cried. Her entire body looked small and was shivering like a leaf. I had barely a moment to react before she noticed my presence, her eyes widening in pure fear. Nothing like I've seen from her before.

"It was me! I didn't- I did- I did this to myself..." She breathed out between sobs.

I knelt down beside her, "What? What did you do? Lucy, you gotta tell me what's going on..."

"I did this to my hands! Remember when I came out with glass all over them- it was me! I was freaking out because of those stupid fucking nightmares- and- and I punched it! I just... I couldn't stop seeing her." She cried out, coughing and burying her face in her knees. Her fingertips were playing with the bandages on the opposite hand, beginning to worry me that she would try and rip them off.

I grabbed her hands, pinning them gently by her sides. "Alright... Okay. Look at me, we're going to get through this together. Deep inhale through your nose, out through your mouth." I whispered, tilting her chin up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

Her breaths were shaky at first, but her rhythm slowly started to calm down. With hiccups in between, her breathing slowed to a normal pace. My thumbs rubbed the back of her hands gently in an effort to soothe her.

"Alright. Good, that's good. Now, calmly, tell me what happened that triggered this attack? If you don't feel comfortable saying it, then that's okay..." I whispered.

She looked down, moving a hand to rub her now bloodshot eye from all the crying she had been doing before. I could tell from the barely noticeable rocking and swaying of her body that she was in no shape to get back to bed. So, I stayed there with her.

"It was... him... and her. We were training. It wasn't anything gorey, it was just... It reminded me of being controlled. How I wasn't independent anymore." She lifted her head to look into my eyes.